🔙 Quay lại trang tải sách pdf ebook Tuyển tập 40+ bài tiểu luận hay trúng tuyển vào đại học y khoa ở Mỹ Ebooks Nhóm Zalo BARRON’S Tuyen tap 40+ tieu luan hay y o u r c h a n c e ? ' 7 O F A C C E P T A N C E trung tuyen vao Dai hoc Y khoa of My b y t h e M E D IC A L S C H O O L O F Y O U R C H O iC E i G U ID A N C E IN P L A N N IN G A N D W R IT IN G Y O U R ESSAY A D V IC E F R O M S C H O O L A D M IS S IO N S O FF IC E R S A STEP-BY-STEP W R IT IN G P R O G R A M School41 PLUS T T ■ A C T U A L ESSAYS S U B M ITTE D T O M E D IC A L S C H O O L S BY S U C C E S S F U L A P P L IC A N TS 23} 1 1 ie Dowhan, Chris Dowhan, and Dan Kaufman Gidi tHieu Nguyen Thanh Yen SECOND EDITION NHA XUAT BAN TONG H0P THANH PHO HO CHI' MINH Tuyen tap 40+ tieu luan hay trung tuyen vao Dai hoc Y khoa cl My ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO Medical School SECOND EDITION Adrienne Dowhan Chris Dowhan Daniel Kaufman Gidi tfafu N guyen Th&nh Yen NHA XUAT BAN TONG H0P THANH PHO HO CHI MINH L dl G ltfl THIEU 6 My, de dupe x6t who hoc m6t truimg dai hoc hay h§ cap hoc nao d6 theo chuyen nganh ban chon, ban phai trai qua qui trinh xet tuyen (admissions process). Ngoai hoc ba c6 di&n s6 cao, hoJtc ket qua diem thi cua ky thi nao d6 theo ygu ciu cua turng trudmg, cac thu gidi thteu, ban c6n phai gui k6m theo ho so xin hoc m6t bai viet that an tupng. Rieng truPng y, ban sg dupe mPi dir mot hoac vdi lln ph6ng v£n true tiep sau khi ban giam khao da th6ng qua h6 so so tuyein cua ban. Chi'nh bai vi£t va (nhffng) Ian ph6ng van nay quy£t djnh duimg vao dai hoc hay bac cao hoc chuyen nganh y khoa cua ban. Mot bai tieu luan xuit sac va cuoc doi thoai true ti£p giup h6i d6ng x6t tuyen (admissions committee) c6 c£i nhin r6 hem vi ban. Qua d6, ban c6 the the hien d6ng co hoc tap, tinh cach, kha nang, tu duy lo gic, I6ng yeu ngudi, y$u nghe. Day la ca h6i cho ban boc 16 kha nang va phim chat tiem tang cua m6t bac si tuong lai. Tren thirc te, ban hoan toan chu dpng khi vi£t va trong khi phong vin. Neu dau tu dung mure, ban s6 di dang thanh cong. Nhu da n6i tren, bai tieu luan va cuoc phong va'n d6ng vai trP v6 cung quan trong. The nen ban can phai viet nhi/ the nao de c6 m6t bai tieiu luan that su in tuong va cin phai th£ hi£n trong cudc phong van nhu the! nao de c6 the boc 16 dupe ban sic doc dao cua minh, thuyet phuc dupe hoi d6ng tuyen chon. B arron's Essays th a t will get you into M edical School ra dpi nhim dap ung nhu ciu cua ban. Day la c6ng trinh cua mot nh6m tac gia true thupc c6ng ty c6 ten goi ia Ivy Essays. Cong ty nay da dupe thanh lap tir nam 1996. Muc tieu cua cong ty ia cung cip ngu6n tai lieu phong phu va cap nhat, ke ca cac bai tieu luan thuc te da du'pc diem cao va cac ldi khuyen thiet thuc, htfu ich cua cac chuyen gia cho cac tag vien c6 nguySn vong xin vao hoc 6 ckc truPng dai hoc chuyen nganh hang dau cua My. Cu6'n sach nay dupe chia lam 4 phin. Ba chuong trong Phan 1 giup ban hieu dupe yeu cau cua hoi d6ng tuy§’n chon dd tu" d6 c6 chien lupc chuin bi that tot cho bai tieu luan cua minh. Hai chucmg trong Phin 2 hudng din cho ban cach lap dan bai, phan doan, viet phin nhap dl, ket luan va biet chon tu- chinh xac khi viet va tCr chuyen cau, chuyen doan de’ bai viet mach lac. Ban cung duoc cung cap cac thu thuat chinh sua bai viet cua minh de hoan thien n6 trudc khi nop k£m vao h6 so xin hoc. Phin 3 c6 hai chucmg tap trung vao cac btfdc ban din chuin bj cho cac kie’u phong va'n, ban c6 the se doi diu va nhtfng 16i khuyen cu the’ giup ban that su tu tin va binh tinh khi dupe phong va'n. Mot loat cac cau hoi giam khao se hoi ban duoc trinh bay theo chu dl giup ban de dang chuin bj. Ngoai ra, c6 mot s6’ cau hoi goi y ban co the tham khao d6 sur dung khi chu d6ng dat c3u hoi voi giam khao trong qua trinh phong van. Phin 4 ia 41 bai tieiu luan cua cac ting vien da trung tuyen vao cac truPng y khoa hang diu d My k£m theo mot s6 ldri nhan x6t cua chinh cac tac gia bai viet de ban co 3 the hoc hoi them kinh nghiem cua hp khi vi£t bil ti6i vdi cac giim khao gia dan kinh nghiem, ho dl dang phat hiin ra nhtfng bai viet sao chep cua ngudi khk va th£ ia bai vi£t cua ban ngay Up tuc bi di sang mot ben. Tuong tu, cic giam khao cflng khong kifin nhin ng6i nghe nhOng cau tri ldi thuoc 16ng cua thi sinh trong cudc ph6ng vin. N<*u khi vi£t, ban c6 stir dung tu lieu hay tn'ch din ldi cua ai d6, nhat thi£t ban phii ghi r6 t£n tac gia, tac phim, nam xuat ban va ca so trang dupe trich din. C6n khi ddi dap trong cudc phong vin, ban cin ndi tu nhien, xuat phat tir suy nghl ddc lap va sang tao cua ban than, c6 gang diin dat chan that theo kha nang cua minh. Ngudn tu lifiu va nhQng goi y After reading hundreds of essays in my time on bttHarv^rd Medical School admissions committee, I would tell people a c o u tiftf key things. First, make it personal. The most boring, dry essays are thmbkhat go on about how the 7 ESSA YS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO M E D IC A L S C H O O L ____ __________________________ applicant loves science and working with people and wants to serve humanity, but offer few personal details that give a sense of what the applicant is like. Personalize your essay as much as possible—generic essays are not only bor ing to read, they’re a waste of time because they don’t tell you anything about the applicant that helps you get to know them better. What does it mean to make your essay personal? It means that you drop the formalities and write about something that is truly meaningful to you. It means that you include a story or anecdote taken from your life, using ample detail and colorful imagery to give it life. And it means, above all, being completely honest Part Four of this book contains many examples of essays that get personal, including Essay 35. The writer begins by recollecting her experience with anorexia and her admiration for the doctor who saved her life. But it is more than the story that makes her essay real—it is the way that she describes her experiences. She uses a personal tone throughout the essay, for example when she describes her self while volunteering at an AIDS clinic: ...la m constantly reminded of how much I have to learn. I look at a baby and notice its cute, pudgy toes. Dr. V plays with it while conversing with its mother, and in less than a minute has noted its responsiveness, strength, and attachment to its parent, and checked its reflexes, color and hydration. Gingerly I search for the tympanic membrane in the ears of a cooperative child and touch an infants warm, soft belly, willing my hands to have a measure of Dr. V.’s competence. It is her admittance that she doesn’t yet know everything she needs to know coupled with the picture she paints of herself noticing a baby’s “cute pudgy toes' and "gingerly” searching in “the ear of a cooperative child” and touching “an infant’s warm, soft belly.” As readers, we do not have to strain to create a mental image of the author as a caring, still somewhat tentative individual This vivid portrayal is painted by a series of personal details. Just as this writer did not rely on her story of anorexia to make her essay personal, one admissions officer comments: A personal epiphany, tragedy, life change, or earth-shattering event is not essential to a strong essay. This point cannot be stressed enough. Personal does not necessarily mean heavy, or emotional, or awe inspiring. It is a small minority of students who wiD truly have had a life-changing event to write about Perhaps they have spent time living abroad or have experienced death or disease from close proximity. But this is the exception and not the rule. In fact students who rely too heavily on these weighty experiences often do themselves an injustice. They often don’t think about what has really touched them or interests them because they are preoccupied with the topic that they think will 18 CHAPTER 1: Assess Your Audience impress the committee. They write about their grandfather's death because they think that only death (or the emotional equivalent) is significant enough to make them seem introspective and mature. What often happens, however, is that they rely on the experience itself to speak for them and never explain what it meant to them or give a solid example of how it was emotionally influencing. In other words, they don’t make it personal. Details, Details, Details To make your essay personal, learn from the example above and use details. Show, don’t tell, who you are by backing your claims with real experiences. Essays only really help you if they are unique and enable the reader to get a sense of who you are based on examples and scenarios and ideas, rather than lists of what you’ve done. The readers want to find out who this person is, not what the person has done, although the two are obviously interrelated. The key words from this quote are examples, scenarios, and ideas. Using detail means being specific. Each and every point that you make needs to be backed up by specific instances taken from your experience. It is these details that make your story unique and interesting. Although it is true that the use of excessive detail can bog down the pace of a story, don’t even think about limiting the amount that you incorporate during the first phases of writing. Too much detail in your writing is a much less likely pitfall than the alternative. To begin, err on the side of too much information and you can trim it down later. This way you won’t find yourself manufacturing details to fit neatly into an essay you thought was com plete, but that turned out to be less than engaging. Look at the detail used by the writer of Essay 25, for example. She describes herself gently rocking her first patient, “taking care not to disturb the jumbled array of tubes that overwhelmed his tiny body,” and says that she has “worked with everything from papier mache to popsicle sticks” and that the children in her ward talk about “Nintendo or the latest Disney movie.” These details create a per sonal, interesting story out of what might have been a yawn-inducing account that could be attributed to any of a thousand applicants. Tell a Story Tell a story. It altvays makes for more interesting reading and it usually con veys something more personal than such blanket statements as "I want to help people. ’ Incorporating a story into your essay can be a great way to make it interesting and enjoyable. The safest and most common way of integrating a story into an essay is to tell the story first, then step back into the role of narrator and explain 19 t lS A lS T H A T W i t t G E T Y O U I M T Q M E D I C A L S C H Q Q L why it was presented and what lessons were learned. The reason this ntrfhod works is that it forces you to begin with the action, which is a sure way to get the readers’ attention and keep them reading. Many of the essay examples in this book make effective use of ntnn'trfcf Essay 19 begins with a storm at sea. Essay 9 begins with a tale of stage fright before a theater performance, and Essay 15 begins with a newspaper dipping about the writer as a child. The writer of Essay 32 takes an even more creative approach to the story method by incorporating the tale of a prehistoric woman whose bones he has analyzed. What all these writers understood is that a story is best used to draw the reader in, and it should always relate back to the motivation to attend medical school or the ability to succeed once admitted. Be Honest! This last point comes with no caveats, and should be upheld without exception. Nothing could be more simple, more straightforward, or more crucial than this: Be honest, forthright, and sincere. If you say that one of your favorite hobbies is playing chess, then you better have a favorite opening move; your interviewer might be an expert player and want to swap techniques! Admissions officers have zero tolerance for hype. If you try to be something that you’re not, it will be apparent to the committee. You will give the imp re-ion of being immature at best and unethical at worst I served on the Harvard Medical School admissions committee, and can say that it is very important to be honest. The students will be asked many times about the personal statement when interviewing, and it’s painfully obvious when they exaggerate or are overly dramatic when recounting their experiences. When you are honest about your motivations and goals, you will come across as more personable and real. Essay 23, for example, begins: When I entered Dartmouth College in 1987,1 was amazed by the large num ber of students already labeled as ‘premeds.’ I wondered how those were able to decide with such certainty that they wanted to study medicine, and I imagined that they all must have known from a very early age that they would one day be great doctors. I had no such inklings, and if asked as a child what I wanted to be when I grtw up, I would have said that I wanted to be an Olympic skier or soccer player. Because of the numerous essays that begin: Tve wanted to be a doctor lor M long as I can remember..." this writer’s honest approach was refreshing Mid memorable. 2 0 CHAPTER 1: Assess Your Audience What Are the Readers Tired of Finding? Not surprisingly, much of what admissions officers are tired of finding is sim ply the converse of what they hope to receive. In other words: Don’t be generic, don’t lie, and don’t hand in a poorly written, ill-constructed document riddled with grammatical errors. There were, however, a few pet peeves that were cited so frequently by admis sions officers that they bear repeating. After all, they wouldn’t be pet peeves if peo ple weren’t still doing them. Gimmicks When it comes to creativity, the consensus among our admissions team was clear: Interesting is good; gimmicky is bad. To put it plainly, don’t give in to gim micks. The problem is in knowing where to draw the line. According to one admis sions officer, "What might have been cute at the college level of admissions simply won’t cut it at this level of competition.” To complicate matters more is the inevitability that admissions officers will disagree among themselves about where to draw the line. Here are two attention-getters that definitely flopped: One applicant to the School of Dentistry used a computer program to craft her essay in the form of a tooth, with roots and all. What a mess! You couldn’t even figure out how one line followed another. You could write a whole book on the gimmicks alone. The student who mailed via UPS an actual front door with a sneaker glued to it, painted with the words ‘I just want to get my foot in the door’ might better have spent his creative ener gies figuring out how to raise his 1.8 GPA. Contrast the above with one example of a person who did it right One essay that caught my eye began 7 was raised by Donald Duck. ’ I was intrigued and went on to read this excellent essay that explained how the applicant’s father used his Donald Duck voice to soothe the fears of the children who were his patients, and how this personal touch influenced the son to pur sue the same career. He then tied it together nicely by ending up with "...and I could do worse than grow up to be Donald Duck. ’ This essay showed the appli cant to be well researched in the field, intelligent, and creative. If you are considering taking a creative approach, consider that maturity is valued higher than any of the following qualities by admissions committees: creativity, interest, innovation, or initiative. So, when in doubt, err on the conser vative side. One example of an applicant who took a risk (if only a slight one) is in Essay 5. The writer begins by using quotes of people describing why they fell in love, and 21 FSSAYS TH A T WILL C H YOU IN TO M EDICA L SCH O O L ___________________________________ _ then uses them to draw a metaphor between medical school and marriage. She risks sounding trite, but she is able to pull it off by moving briskly from the metaphor into solid demonstrations of her motivation, her achievements, and her experience. She also brings the last line back to the original metaphor, which both justifies its use and makes for a satisfying read. Mechanical Errors There is absolutely no excuse for mechanical errors such as poor grammar or misspellings. One unforgivable error is the mistake of forgetting to replace die proper name of the school throughout the statement Harvard consistently gets essays beginning, T h e reason I want to attend Stanford..." Here is some of the advice given by admissions staff and students alike: Proofread! Have others proofread! Spell check! It's stunning how many people have careless, even really obvious typos in their statements. It makes the applicant look sloppy, uninterested, unintelligent. Don’t cram your essay onto the page with a tiny font. If I can't read it with out a magnifying glass, I won’t read it at all. Stay away from lots of SAT-type big vocabulary words. It’s obvious which applicants wrote their essays with the thesaurus in hand. Actually answer the question asked. Many people Just list off their accom plishments and never relate it to the theme of the question. Get Feedback This has been mentioned several times already but it bears repeating. It is imper ative that you get feedback about your essays before submitting your final ver sions. For a variety of reasons, many of the don’ts listed above are hard to spot in your own writing. Find an honest objective person to read the entire essay set for each school. As comforting as it might be, do not accept “It’s great!" as feedback. Ask the reader to look specifically for the do’s and don’ts listed in this chapter and to recount to you the main points you were trying to make. Have the reader describe his or her impression of your strengths and weaknesses. Approach the reader a week after he or she has read the essays and see what (if anything) has remained memorable. Finally, if your proofreaders are not familiar with what a successful admissions essay looks like, have them read some of the examples from Section Four in order to have a measuring stick by which to judge your work. Finally, do not rely on only one person's opinion, especially if you know the per son well or disagree with the points the person may have made. Even the most objective readers have their own set of biases and opinions, and no one persoa 22 CHAPTER 1: Assess Your Audience can accurately predict the reception your writing will have at the school to which you are applying. One way to offset this potential risk is to make one of your evaluations a pro fessional one. In addition to Ivy Essays’ web site (www.ivyessays.com), a number of other qualified services can be found on the Internet CHAPTER 2 Gather Your Material Now that you have a better understanding of your readers and some of their opinions about what makes an essay exceptionally good or bad, you may feel ready to begin writing. You may even feel inspired about a particular topic and have some good ideas for presenting it But before you start your com puter, stop for a moment and assess your situation. Creating an essay full of imagery and detail will require you to think carefully about your subject matter before you begin to write. This means much more than simply knowing the points you want to make. It means, first and foremost, that you know yourself. Interesting, reflective, and revealing essays are always the result of careful self-analysis. Second, it means that you understand the specific points you wish to make in your essay and have identified concrete details to use in support of each of these points. We often forget the details of our lives over time, yet it is these details that will provide the material for your essay, making it vibrant and alive. This chapter contains a number of brainstorming activities designed to help you get to know yourself better and gather the material you will need to write a col orful essay. We begin with the basics in “Start Your Engines.” The exercises in this section will offer solutions to open the channels of your mind and get your pen moving. If you are not having a problem getting started, you might want to skip this section and go straight to “Assess Yourself.” Start Your Engines To get the most benefit out of this section, put your anxieties aside. Do not think about what the admissions comirittee wants, or worry about grammar or style— and especially do not worry about what anyone would think. These worries ham per spontaneity and creativity, and besides, no one ever has to see these exercises anyway. Focus instead on writing quickly and recording every thought you have the instant you have it You will know that you are performing these exercises cor rectly if you are relaxing and having fun. 24 c h a p t e r 2: Gather Your Material The Inventory This exercise is designed to get your pen moving. The goal is simply to com pile an inventory of your activities and accomplishments—school, sports, extracur ricular activities, awards, work, and pastimes. You may have already made a similar list during the application process. If so, start with that list and try to add to it This list will become fodder for topics to use when writing your personal state m ent During this exercise you do not need to write down any qualities, skills, or feelings associated with the activities. For now it is more important to be com pletely comprehensive in the breadth of topics and items you include. For exam ple, if you taught yourself chess or particularly enjoy occasional chess games with your uncle, you do not need to be in a chess club or have won a trophy to add it to the list Think of how you spend your time each and every day, and include any items that seem significant to you. Spend no less than twenty minutes writing, and keep going for up to an hour if you can. If you run out of items quickly, don’t worry—you will probably come up with more during the other exercises. Stream o f Consciousness Take twenty minutes to answer each of the questions: Who are you? and What do you want? Start with whatever comes to mind first and write without pausing for the entire time. Do not limit yourself to any one area of your life such as your career. Just let yourself go, be honest and have fun. You might be surprised by what kind of results can come from this type of free association. Morning Pages If you have the discipline to practice this technique for a week, you may end up doing it for the rest of your life. Keep paper and a pen at your bedside. Set your alarm clock twenty minutes early, and when you are still in bed and groggy with sleep, start writing. Write about anything that comes to mind, as fast as you can, and do not stop until you have filled a page or two. Journal Writing Keep a journal for a few weeks, especially if you are stuck and your brain storming seems to be going nowhere. Record not what you do each day, but your responses and thoughts to each day’s experiences. Top Tens Write down your top ten favorites in the following areas: movies, books, plays, sports, paintings, historical eras, famous people. Step back and look at the lists objec tively. What do they say about you? Do you see a pattern, or do any particular P <;<; A Y S T H A T W i l l f . E T Y O U I N T O M E D I C A L S C H O O L passions present themselves? And finally, have any of your favorites had a significant effect on your outlook, opinions, or direction? Free-Flow Writing Choose one word that seems to appear on many of your questions such as influence, strengths, career, diversity, or goals, and brainstorm around that word. Set a timer for ten minutes and write without stopping. Write down everything you can think of that relates to the topic, including any single words that come to mind. Assess Yourself If the exercises in the last section have successfully stirred your thoughts and animated your pen, then it is time to impose more focus on your brainstorming. These next exercises help you do just that They are more concentrated on find ing the specific points and details that you will need to incorporate into your statement But be sure to retain the open mind and creative attitude fostered in the last section. The Chronological M ethod Start from childhood and record any and all special or pivotal experiences that you remember. Go from grade to grade, and job to job, noting any significant lessons learned, achievements reached, painful moments endured, or obstacles overcome. Also, include your feelings about those occurrences as you remember them. If you are a visual person, it might help to draw a timeline. Do not leave out any significant event This goal of this exercise is to help you uncover long-forgotten material from your youth. This material can be used to demonstrate a long-standing dedication to the medical field, or to illustrate the kind of person you are by painting an image of yourself as a child. Be cautioned in advance, though, that relying too heavily on accomplishments or awards won too far in your past can diminish the strength of your points. Medical schools are more interested in what you have been doing since college than in what you accomplished, no matter how impressive, in high school. A ssess Your Accom plishments Write down anything you are proud of doing, no matter how small or insignifi cant it might seem. Do not limit your achievements to your career. If you have overcome a difficult personal obstacle, be sure to list this too. If something is important to you, it speaks volumes about who you are and what makes you tick. Some accomplishments will be obvious, such as any achievement that received 26 CHAPTER 2. Gather Your Material public accolade or acknowledgment Others are less so, and many times the most defining moments of our lives are those we are inclined to dismiss. List Your Skills Do an assessment of your skills that is similar to the one you did for your accom plishments. Do not limit yourself to your “medical” skills such as helping people or research abilities. Cast your net broadly. Being able to draw connections between your unique skills and how they will make you a good doctor is what will make you memorable. Think about the MCAT during this exercise. This test is designed to gauge certain quantifiable skills. Think of other skills that are not specifically tested, such as professionalism, and emphasize strengths in these areas. Begin by looking back at the last exercise and listing the skills that are high lighted by your accomplishments. When you have a list of words, start brain storming on other ways you have demonstrated these skills in the last few years. Pretend that you are defending these skills in front of a panel of judges. Stop only when you have proven each point to the best of your ability. Analyze Personality Traits There is a fine and fuzzy line between skills and personality traits that can be used to your advantage. Almost any quality can be positioned as a skill or ability if the right examples are used to demonstrate them. If you had trouble listing and defend ing your skills in the last exercise, then shift the focus to your qualities and char acteristics instead. Make a few columns on a sheet of paper. In the first one, list some adjectives you would use to describe yourself. In the next one, list the words your best friend would use. Use the other columns for other types of people— perhaps one for your boss and another for family members or coworkers. When you have finished, see which words come up the most often. Look for such words as maturity, responsibility, sense of purpose, academic ability, intel lectual curiosity, creativity, thoughtfulness, trustworthiness, sense of humor, per severance, commitment integrity, enthusiasm, confidence, conscientiousness, candor, leadership, goal-orientation, independence, and tact, to name a few. Group them together and list the different situations in which you have exhibited these characteristics. How effectively can you illustrate or prove that you possess these qualities? How do these qualities reflect on your ability to succeed in the medical world? N ote Major Influences You can refer back to your Top Ten lists for help getting started with this exer cise. Was there a particular person who shaped your values and views? Did a par ticular book or quote make you rethink your life? Relationships can be good 27 n t i Y < T H A T W i l l R f T Y O U i m n M E D I C A L S C H O O L material for an essay, particularly a relationship that challenged you to look at peo ple in a different way. Perhaps you had a wise and generous mentor from whom you learned a great deal. Have you had an experience that changed how you see the world, or defines who you are? What details of your life, special achievements, and pivotal events have helped shape you and influence your goals? Identify Your Goals The first step of this exercise is to let loose and write down anything that comes to mind regarding your goals: What are your dreams? What did you want to be when you were younger? If you could do or be anything right now, regardless of skill, money, or other restrictions, what would it be? Think as broadly as you wish, and do not limit yourself to professional goals. Will you have kids? What kind of house will you live in? What kinds of friends will you have? The second step is to begin honing in on some more specific or realistic goals. Given your current skills, education, and experience, where could you expect to be in twenty years? Where would you be ideally? Think in terms of five-year incre ments, listing actual positions and places, if possible. Be detailed and thorough in your assessment and when you think you are finished, dig a little deeper. Your goal of becoming a doctor is obvious, of course, but when you can show the admissions committee that you have thought more specifically about your goals, it reemphasizes the sincerity of your motivation. It also reassures the com mittee that you understand what becoming a doctor means specifically, that it is more than being a hero and getting to write M.D. after your name. At this and every stage of brainstorming, do not hesitate to expand and modify lists that you created previously. If at this stage of the process you realize that a strong influence in your life was not in your original list that doesn’t mean it is any less important to you. Add it now. The subconscious mind has an interesting way of retrieving information like this, and the brainstorming process is meant to uncover as much of it as possible, in whatever way it surfaces. Before Yon Move On . . . Knowing yourself and all of your goals thoroughly can be difficult Not a l of your motivations, significant influences, defining experiences, or career goal*— especially long term—are going to be completely clear to you at this point How ever, if these exercises proved more than a little difficult for you, it could be a vga that you need to step back and reassess your decision to seek an MD. B eca w expressing your reasons for applying to medical school is so central to the ned ical essay, giving vague motivations will indicate ambivalence to the comaHtftee, and that alone could ruin your chances of getting into medical schooL 28 c h a p t e r 2: Gather Your Material Before you go any further, reassess your decision to attend medical school. Look more closely into what an M.D. will do for you and whether it will allow you to achieve what you truly want If you are not clear yourself on exactly why you want an M.D. and what you will do once you have one, how will you be able to convince an admissions committee? On the other hand, if this chapter was successful for you, you should now have plenty of material—in fact, more than you need—to write successful and con vincing essays. The next chapter, “Develop a Strategy," will help you under stand how to present this material as a cohesive whole, leaving the committee with a strong sense of who you are and a persuasive, targeted argument for why it should accept you. 29 CHAPTER 3 Develop a Strategy At this stage you should have plenty of material from which to build your personal statement This means that you have a solid understanding of your career goals, your objectives—both personal and professional—and your motivations for going to medical school, and that you have plenty of details to back them up. The details should comprise specific examples from your past— the summer spent researching a tribe in a remote section of the Amazon, your vol unteer experience as a literacy tutor, the time you were ten and healed the wing of an injured pigeon. Now it is time to mesh these disparate details of your life into a cohesive whole. This chapter represents the final stage of preparation, and the last step you need to take before you begin to write the first draft of your essay. In it you will identify your goals, choose your themes, and develop your strategy. Identify Your Themes Part of what makes the personal statement so difficult is that you need to do so much in one essay. Unlike the college application essay, where your motivation is unquestioned and your goals can remain undefined, and unlike other graduate programs where you are expected to write multiple essays in response to specific questions, writing a personal statement requires that you incorporate multiple themes in one composition. Needless to say, this can be tricky. There are three basic themes that need to be incorporated into your essay: 1. Why you want to be a doctor 2. Why you are unique, different, or exceptional 3. Why you are qualified and/or what experience you have had There are several different ways to approach each one of these themes. The more common of these approaches are outlined below with tips and advice for how to best handle each approach. 30 C H A P T E R 3: Develop a Strategy Them e 1: Why I Want to Be a Doctor Many people look back in time to find the moment of their initial inspiration. Some people have wanted to be a doctor so long they do not even know what orig inally inspired them. To incorporate this theme, look back to the material you gath ered in the last chapter, specifically in response to “The Chronological Method," "Note Major Influences,” and “Identify Your Goals.” Ask yourself these questions: How old was I when I first wanted to become a doctor? Was there a defining moment? Was there ever any ambivalence? Was I inspired by a specific person? What kind of doctor do I want to be and how does that tie into my motivation? Here are a few of the common ways that students incorporate this theme: "I've Always Wanted to Be a Doctor" AKA Tve Wanted to Be a Doctor Since I Was...” and “Everyone Has Always Said I’d Be a Doctor" This is perhaps the most common approach of all. The secret to doing it well is to show, not just tell, why you want to be a doctor. You cannot just say it and expect it to stand on its own. The Tve always wanted to be a doctor■* essay has been done to death. I think candidates need to be careful to show that their decision was not only a pre adolescent one and has been tested over the years and approached in a mature manner. Supply believable details from your life to make your desire real to the reader. One secret to avoiding the “here we go again” reaction is to be particularly care ful with your first line. Starting with “I’ve wanted to be a doctor since...” makes the reader cringe. It’s an easy line to fall back on, but admissions officers have read this sentence more times than they care to count; don’t add to the statistic See Essays 6, 15, 31, and 37 for some examples of successfully incorporating this theme. All of the writers use solid examples to back themselves up, and none of them depend on this theme alone to carry the essay. "M y Parents Are Doctors" This approach to the “why I want to be a doctor” theme is dangerous for a different reason. It’s a prejudice of mine, but the legacy essay, the one that reads, "My dad and my grandpa and my great-grandpa were all doctors so I should be too,’ makes me suspect immaturity I envision young people who can’t think for themselves or make up their own minds. This is not the opinion of every officer, though. The point is not to avoid admit ting that your parent is an M.D., it is to avoid depending on that as the sole rea son for you wanting to go to medical school. If a parent truly was your inspiration, 31 m i Y t t h a t W i l l r. F T Y O U I N T O M F D I C A L S C M Q Q i . then describe exactly why you were inspired. Essay 7 does this weD. Essay 35 abo tells of inspiration from a mentor The doctor in this case is not related to her, but the treatment is still applicable. Essayists 14, 24, 26, 29, and 37 also all talk about a physician in the family but none of them ever dwells on it and most only mention it circumstantially. Essay 24 has a unique approach; the writer tells of how he initially revolted against becoming a doctor because of family pressure to do so. His story of how he even tually came around to the decision on his own terms makes for an interesting and convincing read. "My Doctor Changed My Life!" AKA; "Being a Patient Made Me Want to Become a Doctor" Some people claim to be motivated to become doctors because they have had personal experience of illness or disability. I had a student who grew up with a chronic illness. She spent much time mtk physicians and other health :are providers throughout her young lift. In her essay she wrote about this continuing experience and how the medical profes sionals treated her. She wrote of her admiration of them as well as her under standing that they couldn’t yet cure her. Her essay literally jumped off the page as being unique to her and a compelling understanding of and testament to her desire to join the people who had been so important to her life. If your personal experience with the medical profession sincerely is your moti vation for attending medical school, then do write about it The problem is that many students fall back on this topic even when it does not particularly hold true for them. We cannot stress enough that you do not have to have a life-defining ability or a dramatic experience to have an exciting statement Admissions com mittees receive piles of accident- and illness-related essays and the ones that seem insincere stick out like sore thumbs (pun intended!) and do not reflect well on you as a candidate. *My orthodontist changed my life!" ‘My dentist gave me my smile back!’ These types of themes are certainly valid, but go beyond that to what particular aspect of the profession intrigues you. Do you understand how many years of study your orthodontist had to have in order to reach his level of practice? Have you observed your dentist for any significant amount of time? Do you know that the profession now is much different than it was when he or she was starting out? Have you given any thought to the danger of infectious diseases to all health care professionals? Present a well-organized, complete essay dealing with these points. Essayists 11,17,20, and 35 all found motivation, in varying degrees, for becom ing doctors when they were being treated themselves. The writer of Essay 11 men tions his experience only briefly toward the end of his essay. He uses it as a 32 c h a p t e r 3: Develop a Strategy confirmation of his decision to be a doctor (instead of as his primary motivation) and demonstrates that because of the experience he will become a better doctor. Essayist 17 uses the theme less subtly, but it works nicely. He begins with a line that is often overused, and makes it the subject of the first paragraph: Ironically, the first time I seriously considered becoming a doctor was as a patient. What makes it work is that he moves briskly in the next paragraph to demon strate that he balanced his initial inspiration with real hospital experience. This taught him that being a physician is more about hard work and commitment than about the good feeling of being cured or curing. Essay 20 describes the writer’s experience with illness in vivid language to cap ture the reader’s interest: The morning of New Year’s Day, 1978, was bright and sunny Refreshed from a good night’s sleep, I lifted the blankets, rose to my feet, and collapsed, unable to walk. The writer does not dwell on the experience, though, and like the others pro vides plenty of further evidence of her sincere motivation. Essay 35 demonstrates the most personal patient experience of them all: The writer suffered from anorexia and “slowly came to realize that my pediatrician had saved my life—despite my valiant efforts to the contrary.” Her story works because she tells her story objectively and with no intention to manipulate the reader’s emotions. "M y Mom Had Cancer" This theme is really just a variation of “I was a patient myself” and the same advice applies: If a loved one’s battle with illness, trauma, or disability is truly what inspired your wish to become a doctor, then by all means mention it But don’t dwell on it don’t overdramatize, and don’t let it stand as your sole motivation— show that you’ve done your research and you understand the life of a doctor and you chose it for a variety of reasons. Essayists 2,4,18,20, 29, 34, and 36 all have had someone close to them suffer physically in some way. They each approach the subject differently. Essayists 4 and 34, for example, both mention very briefly how a sister struggled (one with cancer and one with retardation), but neither spends more than a couple of sen tences on the subject Essayists 2 and 29 both begin with their mothers’ recover ies as a way to draw the reader in, and show proof of an early motivation to heal. Essay 18 begins with the story of a teacher suffering from AIDS. What validates this focus is the writer’s subsequent involvement as a volunteer at an HIV clinic. Without this evidence to prove her sincerity, the poignancy of the situation would have been doubted and the essay considerably weakened. 33 CCCAYC THAT WILL GET YOU INTO M £ O IC A L S C H O O L Pitfall Number 1: The Hard-Luck Tale Some truly outstanding essays are about strong emotional experiences such as a childhood struggle with disease or the death of a loved one. Some of these are done so effectively that they are held up as role models for all essays. I had a student who was considered a weak candidate because of poor grades and low test scores. She was African-American and although she had pursued all the right avenues (classes, MCAT, volunteer experiences) to prepare herself for medical school, she remained undistinguished as a candidate— until, that is, she wrote her essay. The essay revealed her tremendous and sincere drive. She was from a crime-riddled area of New York City and several of her siblings had been violently killed. She wrote about her experience and her desire to prac tice medicine in the city and improve the neighborhood where she was raised. It was compelling, believable, and truly inspiring. While it is true that these poignant tales can provide very strong evidence of motivation for medical school, they are difficult to do well and need to be han dled with extreme care and sensitivity. And, as we have said before, do not rely on the tale itself to carry you through; you always need to clearly show your motivation. This is going to sound harsh, but I don’t like the tales of woe such as the ones that begin with the mother’s death from cancer. Frankly, I feel manipulated and I don’t think that the personal statement is the proper mode of expression for that kind of emotion. "I Want to Help People" It is common and natural to cite a desire to help people. Essays 7, 10,16, and 36 do just this. Essay 10 is perhaps the most poignant and convincing of the group. The reader is convinced of the writer’s sincerity based on the depth of his involve ment with three boys as part of ? volunteer program. It is easy to see how such a person would make a kind, caring, and involved physician. Essayist 36 compares being a doctor to being a minister; it rings sincere when we discover that he him self is an elder in his church. Essayist 7 wants to make visits to the dentist more pleasant for her future patients, just as her Dad had done for her. The Medical Dichotomy One of the major draws of the medical field is its dualistic nature combining hard-core science with the softer side of helping people. This is described by peo ple in many ways; some describe it as a dichotomy of science to art; to others it is intellectualism to humanism, theory to application, research to creativity, or qualitative to social skills. No matter how you choose to phrase it, if you men 34 c h a p t e r 3: Develop a Strategy tion the dichotomy, then be sure to touch on your qualifications and experience in both areas. Essays 1, 5, 6, 11, 14, 17, 24, 27, 28 all mention one or more of these contrasts and tie them into their motivation or aptitude for the study of medicine. Theme 2: Why I Am an Exceptional Person This theme is often tied in closely with “why I am a qualified person.” Be very clear on the difference, though; the latter focuses specifically on your experience (medical or otherwise) that qualifies you to be a better medical student, while the former focuses strictly on you as a person. Committees are always on the lookout for well-rounded candidates. They want to see that you are interesting, involved, and tied to the community around you. To help you think about how to support this theme, look at your answers to the exercises from the last chapter and ask yourself: What makes me different? Do I have any special talents or abilities that might make me more interesting? How will my skills and personality traits add diversity to the class? What makes me stand out from the crowd? How will this help me to be a better physician and student'1 If you are creative, you’ll be able to take whatever makes you different—even a flaw—and turn it to your advantage. One student wrote about her experience as a childhood “klutz" and how her many accidents kept her continually seeking medical care. The care she received was the impetus to her desire to become a doctor and made her essay enter taining, sincere, and eminently credible. Note that the candidate in this example tied her experience to her desire to become a doctor. It is imperative that this be done with practically every point you make in your essay. The Talented Among Us If you are one of a lucky few who have an outstanding talent or ability, now is no time to hide it. Whether you are a star athlete, an opera singer, or a violin vir tuoso, by all means make it a focus of your essay. These people can be some of the strongest of candidates. Assuming, always, that they’ve excelled in the required preparatory coursework, the other strengths can take them over the top. Athletes, musicians, and others can make the com pelling case of excellence, achievement, discipline, mastering a subject/talent and leveraging their abilities. Medical schools are full of these types; they thrive by bringing high achievers who possess intellectual ability into their realm. If you do plan to focus on a strength outside the field of medicine, your chal lenge becomes one of how to tie the experience of that ability into your motiva tion for becoming a doctor. '5 [ » i y < THAT W ill r.PT YOU IN T O M E D IC A L S C H O OL Essays 8,12,13,20, and 34 were all written by people with musical ability. Essay 8 begins with a description of an African drum performance during a Catholic Mass, and then ties nicely back to the musical theme in the last line. Music was a profound influence in the life of writer 34, and she correctly devotes her theme to the healing power of music and her study of musical therapy. Essays 12,13, and 20 do not make music the theme of their essays, but they do each mention their talents, making them seem more diverse, with a variety of interests. Essayist 12 draws a compelling portrait of an avid skier and swimmer and effectively ties her interest in sports to medicine through her experience as a lifeguard and a mem ber of the emergency medical ski team. Essayist 29 makes mention of her status as a competitive tennis player, and Essayist 20 mentions learning tennis as a new sport as part of her “participation in activities which have helped me mature as a person." Students of Diversity If you are diverse in any sense of the word—an older applicant, a minority, a foreign applicant, or disabled—use it to your advantage by showing what your unique background will bring to the school and to the practice of medicine. Some admissions officers, however, warn against using minority status as a qualification instead of a quality. If you fall into this trap, your diversity will work against you. If you are a "student of diversity,’ then of course, use it. But don't harp on it for it's own sake or think that being diverse by itself is enough to get you in, that will only make us feel manipulated and it will show that you didn’t know how to take advantage of a good opportunity So just be sure you tie it in with either your motivation or your argument for why your diversity makes you a better candidate. Latecomers and Career Switchers You need not be a member of a minority, a foreign applicant, disabled, or an ath lete or musician to be considered diverse. There are, for example, those who have had experience in or prepared themselves for totally different fields. Essay 32 was written by a management consultant who was looking to switch careers. Essayist 4 begins by telling how miserable he was as branch manager for a marketing cor poration. Essay 21 was written by a woman who had always planned to go into Public Health, and Essayist 37 originally wanted to be a veterinarian. AD of them give succinct reasons for wanting to go into medicine and show evidence of sin cere and intensive preparation for their new chosen field. English Majors and Theater People Not everyone who is accepted to medical school has a hard-core science back ground. Essayist 1 originally wanted to be a writer and writes persuasively on the 36 c h a p t e r 3: Develop a Strategy similarities between analyzing literature and analyzing medical research. He takes this one step further when discussing the creative versus the analytical approach to medicine and his lofty ambition of building a bridge between the two. Essay 9 opens with the author’s involvement in a play, and she openly admits that she was initially turned off by science and math. Essayist 15 also discusses the writer’s late interest in medicine and early preference for the arts. Essayist 24 was a Classics major; Essayist 30 was an Art History major. Essayist 37 admits that she “turned away from science during my undergraduate years” and Essayist 16 mentions that he has been a grammar tutor, editor, and script writer. The secret of all these essays is that they know how to turn their potential weak nesses into strengths. They point out that communication is an integral part of being a doctor, and discuss the advantages of their well-rounded backgrounds. They are also very careful to demonstrate their motivation and qualifications in detail and with solid evidence to offset worries that their nonscience backgrounds may have given them an unrealistic view of a doctor’s life or that they might be unable to cope with the science courses at medical school. Can I Be Too Well Rounded? Some people have talents, abilities, or experience in so many different areas that they risk coming across as unfocused or undedicated. When handled deftly, though, your many sides can be brought together, and what could have hurt you becomes instead your greatest vehicle for setting you apart from the crowd. One essayist who does a terrific job of this is the writer of Essay 30. She was an art history major, active in varsity sports, health education, and traveling. After col lege, she was an au pair in Iceland and an exchange student and intern in France. She manages to present all of this in a short, pointed essay by using the concept of connections as her theme. She relates systems of connections both to the human body as well as to her own diverse activities, emphasizing how they all come together to form a coherent and unique whole. Other essayists who had to deal with their wide range of interests include 14,15, and 20. Taking Advantage of International Experience Many applicants have international experience. So, while it may not set you apart in a completely unique way, it is always worthwhile to demonstrate your cross-cultural experience and sensitivity. Some of the essayists in this book describe fascinating international experience ranging from volunteering in Africa (13), Brazil (23), and Honduras (35), to being an au pair in Iceland (30), to opera singing in Paris (34). Essay 33 is especially strong in the area of international expe rience. This exceptional man worked as a farmhand in Hungary and an orderly in 1 7 CSCAYS THAT WIIL fiFT YOU I N T O M E D I C A L S C H C KLL. the former Soviet Union, financed the first hospital in Estonia, and organised a mission to deliver medical supplies to refugees in Bosnia. Notice again, though, that all these essayists went beyond simply writing about their experiences to relating them either to their motivation or qualification*. Do not expect the committee to make these leaps for you; you need to put it in your own words and make the connections clear. Religion Some admissions counselors advise against the mention of religion altogether. Others say that it can be used to applicants’ advantage by setting them apart and by stressing values and commitment This is a sensitive subject area and is best left to individual choice. Essays 15, 20, and 36 all mention religion to varying degrees. The writer of Essay 15 was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for two years; Essayist 36 is an elder of the same. Essayist 20 mentions Bible study briefly, but it still sheds light on what is probably an impor tant part of her life. Theme 3: Why I Am a Qualified Person The last major theme deals with your experience and qualifications both for attending medical school and for becoming a good doctor. Having direct hospital or research experience is always the best evidence you can give. If you have none, then consider what other experience you have that is related. Have you been a volunteer? Have you tutored English as a Second Language? Were you a teaching assistant? The rule to follow here is: If you have done it, use it Hospital/Clinical Experience Direct experience with patients is probably the best kind to have in your essay. But the important thing to remember here is that any type or amount of exper ience you have had should be mentioned, no matter how insignificant you feel it is. Many of the essayists in this book cited experiences they had in high schooL Many were volunteers, some as HIV counselors (18), some in emergency rooms (22, 37), some as lab assistants (31), some as observers (36), and some simply escorted patients to their rooms (6). Research Experience A word of caution: Do not focus solely on your research topic; your essay will become impersonal at best and positively dull at worst Watch out for overuse of what nonscience types refer to as “medical garble." If it is necessary for the descrip tion of your project then, of course, you have no choice. But including medical terms in your essay just because you are able to will not impress anyone. Essay ists 16 and 22, for example, delve into the use of scientific and medical terms, but 38 C H A P T E R 3: Develop a Strategy they also spend enough time away from them to reveal their own personal, non technical voice. Unusual Medical Experience Even if you have not volunteered X number of hours a week at a clinic or spent a term on a research project, you might still have medical experience that counts: the time you cared for your sick grandmother (Essays 2 and 20) or the day you saved the man at the next table from choking in a restaurant It does not even mat ter if you were unsuccessful (maybe, despite all your valiant efforts, the man at the next table did not survive), if it was meaningful to you then it is relevant; in fact, these failed efforts might be even more compelling. Essayists 12,25, and 36 all relay tales of failing to save a life. Essay 35, on the other hand, deals with a fas cinating success story: The writer was forced to become a doctor by default in a village in Honduras for a summer, even though she had no formal training, no experience, and her only supply was “a $15 Johnson & Johnson k it” Nonmedical Experience Your experience does not even have to be medically related to be relevant Many successful applicants cite nonmedical volunteer experience as evidence of their willingness to help and heal the human race. In fact, almost every one of our essay ists cited having been either a volunteer or a tutor at some point in their lives. Pitfall Number 2: Making Lists There is an inherent danger in wanting to cram as much of your experience as possible into 500 words. The danger is in ending up with what amounts to little more than a listing of your accomplishments. I ’ve found that medical school applicants can have a tendency to make laun dry lists. They need to take extra care to tie their interests, motivation, and prepa ration together and turn it into a readable and credible argument that fits them. It is not a bad idea to include all the experience you have had somewhere in your essay, but do it in the context of a story or a personal account The essay should never be merely a prose form of a C. V. It’s dry to read, and again, doesn’t offer any additional information about the candidate. Develop a Strategy Once you have decided how to incorporate the various themes into your essay, the last step is to develop a strategy, in other words, determine how you will weave your themes together. Here is some advice you do not get often: Don’t think about this one too much. The nice thing about strategy is that it tends to fall into place cctAYS THAT WI1L flET YOU INTO M E D IC A L SCHOOL by itself once you develop an outline and start writing, which is what Chapter 4 is all about So what we offer here is no more than a couple of tips for you to con sider—but not to worry too much about In the end there reaDy is no more we can tell you about strategy without knowing more about you personally. Strategy Tip 1: Keep the School in Mind Most students write generic personal statements that are then sent to every school. That is fine, and to a degree it is expected. But it always impresses a com mittee when you do your research and show in your essay why you are a good fit for that particular school. Know the schools to which you are applying and know what they look for in an applicant. Some schools are heavily research-based, some only want instate residents, some want the heaviest science preparation possible. Do your home work! Don’t be lazy about this! You can, at the very least, find out about the school's general reputation by scanning the guidebook and catalog. However, it is better to research the faculty and familiarize yourself with a school’s specific strengths. All of this becomes fodder for the statement and will be crucial later when you are invited to interview. Essays 27 and 28 are examples of how the same applicant tweaked her essay to work for two different programs. In the first of the two (27), she was applying to (and accepted to) the Harvard MIT Division of Health Sciences and Technol ogy Program and she stresses her analytical skills and computer experience. The second was sent to (and accepted by) Yale, University of Pennsylvania, Johns Hop kins University, and New York University medical schools, and she stresses a more socially minded and humanistic side by describing her volunteer and tutoring work at an after-school literacy program. Strategy Tip 2: Keep the Rest of Your Application in Mind Step back and take an objective look at your entire application package. Imag ine that you are the admissions officer looking at it for the first time. What do the test scores, the science and nonscience GPA, the kinds of courses you took, the recommendations, the extracurriculars, and the supplementary materials say about you? Do you feel the package presents a complete picture of you? If it doesn’t what can you include in your essay to round it out? Also note if there are any obvious red flags: If there is a hole or gap that appears in another part of the application, we will look to the statement to provide an explanation. If one is not provided, we start guessing. Anything the candidate provides is bound to be better than what we hypothesize in its absence. 40 c h a p t e r 3: Develop a Strategy Also note redundancies. Do not recapitulate in your essay those items that can be found elsewhere in the application. Do not repeat your GPA or your MCAT score, no matter how impressive. And, as noted previously, do not try to cram in a prose listing of your activities and accomplishments when space is provided for you to do that elsewhere. Not only is it dull, but it shows that you do not know how to take advantage of a good opportunity to showcase your personal qualities. Pitfall Number 4: Excuses, Excuses Because GPAs and MCATs are so important to the application process, appli cants who have fallen short in either area are often tempted to use the essay to provide excuses for their poor performances. This is not always ill-advised. If there is a true anomaly in your record, the committee will look to your essay for an explanation. Applicants who do this well provide a brief and mature expla nation of the lapse, then they spend the rest of the essay focusing on their strengths in other areas. Explaining a bad grade or a even a bad semester can be done with finesse. I would never give staying away from that as blanket advice. But, please, just don’t whine while you’re doing it. The problems come when you try to excuse a problem instead of explain it Some applicants, for example, try to excuse low MCATs by claiming that they are not good test takers. Well, we hate to break it to them, but medical school is about taking tests. They are a large part of the curriculum and are proven predictors of academic success. So, admitting to being a bad tester would not be a good thing, even if you are being honest. Other students try to push the blame for a bad grade onto someone else. Using the essay to make excuses for your overall poor record isn’t a good way to get ahead. We don’t need to hear about the professor who “had a problem with you," or how your organic chemistry professor 'wasn’t from America.” These types of statements speak volumes about a person’s character. The only way to know for sure that you are not falling into this trap is to ask someone objective to proof your essay for you. Even better, find someone who does not even know you and ask that person to describe back to you the impres sion he or she received of the writer. Strategy Tip 3: Avoid Discussing Medical Issues Though known to come up during interviews, a discussion of medical issues is not often attempted in the essay and not generally advised. There are many rea sons for this: 41 FS«iAY«; TH A T W ill f.FT YOU IN T O M E DICA L SCH O O L 1. The essay is supposed to be about you, not about issues. 2. Your audience likely knows more about the issues than you do. 3. With only two pages to do the issue justice, you will probably end up attempting to cover more than you can accomplish. 4. You risk offending someone on the committee. The natural exception to this rule is if a medical issue featured prominently in your decision to become a doctor. Essayist 14, for example, cites the public health care debate as one of her primary draws to the field. Discussing your negative views of the medical field in your personal statement is an especially risky way to address medical issues. As in anything, there are those who do it well. Essayist 1, for example, discusses what he perceives as a conflict in the medical world and demonstrates how he will contribute to the resolution of the conflict Though he deals with what he sees as a negative conflict in the med ical arena, he discusses it objectively and with tact The writer of Essay 12 does not give her opinion on medical issues, but she does cite the unpleasant experi ence she had with her pediatrician as the chief motivation to do a better job as a doctor herself. The writers in both of these examples discuss their potential roles in the resolution of the conflict Even when you keep these tactics in mind, the best advice here is definitely: When in doubt leave it out An Alternative Approach No matter how stringent these rules regarding theme and strategy may seem, there will always be applicants who decide to toss it all to the wind and take a com pletely different approach. The writer of Essay 40, for example, incorporates none of the mentioned themes into his personal statement He does not talk about his motivation or qualifications for attending medical school. In fact he only mentions medical school once, and even then it is a single reference made only in passing. He chose, instead, to focus his entire essay on his experience as a rower at Cam bridge University in England. This is a risky approach, and one that is best taken by students with very strong backgrounds. This applicant obviously felt confident that the rest of his applica tion spoke well enough of his qualifications that he could focus entirely on another aspect of his life. And this approach does have the merit of painting a vivid picture of the applicant in his natural surroundings and of giving the reader a strong of his character and drive. Ultimately it is a personal decision. Again, the best way to gauge whether or not the risk is one worth taking is by finding a reader capa ble of giving you objective and informed feedback. 42 PART TW O The E Issay Congratulations! You have made it through all the preparatory steps needed to write the best essay possible. Give yourself a pat on the back; you are almost done. “But how can that be possible," you may ask, “when I have not even started writ ing yet?” If you followed all the steps prior to this one, then you should have a clear pic ture in your mind of what you plan to say and how you plan to say it. All you have to do now is transfer the essay from your mind to the paper. Believe it or not, this step is easier than you think. Writing is difficult only when you do not know what points you want to make, have not decided which material to use to make your points, or are insecure about your writing skills. If you have been following along through the information and exercises in the first three chapters, then you have addressed the first two poten tial problems already. The next chapter is designed to help you get past the third. It takes you step by step through the process of actually writing an essay, using plenty of examples along the way. So put your anxieties aside and get ready to write. 43 ■ C -H A P J E R 4 At Last, Write! Now that you know what you want your personal statement to say, it’s time to start writing. First, set a time limit of no more than a couple of days. The longer your time frame, the more difficult it will be to write your first draft The point is to not allow yourself to sit around waiting for inspiration to strike. As one admissions officer put it, “Some of the worst writing ever crafted has been done under the guise of inspiration.’’ Relieve some of the pressure of writing by reminding yourself that this is just a draft and rid yourself of the notion that your essay can be perfect on the first try. Don’t agonize over a particular word choice, or the phrasing of an idea—you will have plenty of time to perfect the essay later. For now, you just need to start The most important thing is to get the words on paper. Creating an Outline You are probably familiar by now with the structure of the traditional outline that you have been using since high-school: Paragraph 1 Introduction that contains the central idea Paragraph 2 Topic sentence that ties into the central idea First supporting point Evidence for point Paragraph 3 Topic sentence that links the above paragraph to the next Second supporting point Evidence for point 45 Paragraph 4 Topic sentence that links the above paragraph to the next Third supporting point Evidence for point Paragraph 5 Conclusion that reiterates the central idea and takes it one step further The problem with this simple structure is that it does not allow for the com plexities created by the multiple themes that need to be incorporated into a per sonal statement. Your outline is going to end up looking more complicated than this one, but that is no excuse for not having one. In fact, the more complex the essay, the more in need of an outline it will be. Without it, your essay will lack structure; without structure, your essay will be rambling and ineffective. To get ideas for some different outlines that could be applied to your statement, look at some of the examples below. S tandard Structure The standard structure is the most common and is recommended for use in almost any circumstance. Applying it is as close as you can get at this level to the simple structure outlined above. The general application of the standard structure is to introduce the themes and main points in the introduction, use the body of the text to supply one supporting point in each paragraph, and then reiterate your main points in the conclusion in light of the evidence that was presented. The following is an example of a pure standard structure used by an applicant who wanted to make the points that she was both interested in and qualified for the medical field on two levels: intellectually, and from a standpoint of wanting to help people: Paragraph 1 (Introduction) Leading sentence: "Since my childhood, my father's inspirational recounts as a car diologist have captured my heart and my interest.” Summary of main points: Introduces “two fundamental tenets" of “working to care and working to cure,” noting her interest in both the academic and the caring sides of medicine. Paragraph 2 Transition sentence: "During my high school and college years, I have explored different areas of community service.” First supporting point: Interest in caring is shown through her community involve ment Evidence: Tutoring geometry to high school students and English to recent immi grants. Paragraph 3 Transition sentence: “I have also participated in the caring element of the medical profession, providing companionship to patients in the hospital setting." Second supporting point: Interest in caring demonstrated by her hospital experience. 4 6 Evidence: Volunteer at several hospitals including the Coronary Care Unit and the Cardiac Rehabilitation Center. Paragraph 4 Transition sentence: "It would be simplistic for me to say that I have chosen to devote my life to the medical profession only because I have a strong desire to help people." Second supporting point: Also motivated by intellectual exploration. Evidence: She details her passion for ‘[making] an intellectual leap and [manag ing] to land feet first upon a convincing conclusion” and describes the thrill that leaves her “thirsting for the next challenge.” Paragraph 5 Transition sentence: “The excitement of intellectual discovery has encouraged me to explore a number of fields." Second supporting point: Has a well-rounded academic background. Evidence: “While my major is biochemistry, my academic interests also encompass Asian studies, languages, music, computer science, health care, and environmental policy...” Paragraph 6 Transition sentence: “My rewarding experiences in growing intellectually have not only fueled my own passion for exploration and discovery, but have inspired me to share my enthusiasm for learning with others, particularly in the field of science." Second supporting point: Ties academic interests back into the original theme of caring for people. Evidence: “To help high school students embark on their own exciting voyages to understand the world around us, I wrote a study guide describing how to approach scientific research and titled it Frontierto emphasize exploration and intellectual discovery." Paragraph 7 (Conclusion) Transition sentence: “To me, there is only one profession which satisfies both my curiosity and my desire to help those in need.” Reiteration of main points and closing sentence: “Incorporating both the caring, per sonal, physician-patient relationship and the dynamism of continuous learning, the medical profession is the profession I eagerly embrace, and I believe it is also the best way I can harness my own talents and abilities for the benefit of others." Compare/Contrast Not all applicants choose the traditional standard structure for their personal statement The writer of Essay 8 chose to structure his essay, for example, around a comparison between music and medicine: paragraph 1 (Introduction) Leading sentence: "The beating of an African healing drum resonates throughout all corners of the Catholic church during the weekly five o’clock student mass." The sentence gives a description of the congregation responding to the music he provides at Mass. Paragraph 2 Transition sentence: "While a drumming performance in church may appear a little unorthodox, the concept of rhythm has never seemed very offbeat to me." 47 In this sentence he introduces himself and his love of music. Evidence: Many years of drum lessons, the development of his personal style, the success of his rock band, and the production of a CD. Paragraph 3 Transition sentence: “Concurrently, my passion for science began to crystallize. “ Here he introduces his love for science and medicine. Evidence: He won a science fair award, volunteered in an emergency room, tutored science and math, and worked in a cancer research laboratory. Paragraph 4 (Conclusion) Transition sentence: "It has become clear that the most attractive features to me in the diverse fields of science and music are one and the same.” He concludes with a comparison between his two themes. Evidence: Both are an exercise in expression and communication .. . Closing sentence: “I know that my concept of the rhythm of life will help keep me grounded in the fundamentals as I strive to convey and apply my knowledge and gifts to others.” Chronology Another way to create an outline of your essay is by retelling the events of your life chronologically. The advantage of this approach is that its allows for a more personal approach and helps the committee to know you by turning the focus to you throughout various stages of your life. The drawback is that the points you are trying to make can get lost in the narration of your life. The writer of Essay 15 uses a chronological structure beginning with the clip of an article describing him as a young boy: Paragraph 1 (Leading quote) Leading sentence: “One time, a family cat captured . . . a moth.” This sentence provides a quote from an article describing him as a boy in 1978. Paragraph 2 (Introduction) Transition sentence: This article, about me as a ten-year-old boy trying to turn a nearby drainage pond into a park, had a misprint—it was a mouse, not a moth.* This explains the quote and makes the main point that he was cut out to be a doc tor from a young age. Paragraph 3 Transition sentence: “We didn’t exactly live on a farm, but were in farm ing coun try.” Here he describes himself and his life as a boy. Paragraph 4 Transition sentence: “During this period, we did manage to find time for other things.” Here the writer focuses on his multiple activities throughout his high school years. Paragraph 5 Transition sentence: “After two semesters at Boise State, I volunteered to serve for 48 ch ap te r «: At Last, Write! two years as a missionary with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, going to the California, Ventura Mission.” The writer continues on to his college years spent as a missionary. Paragraph 6 Transition sentence: “Returning to school, my classes included math and sciences (subjects I had shied away from before)—out of curiosity, at first; then, to keep my options open.” He progresses to his return to college and his activities and accomplishments from that period. Paragraph 7 Transition sentence: “In high school, I had had some health problems and seen a number of doctors.” The writer goes back to his high school experiences to introduce the theme of medicine. Paragraph 8 Transition sentence: "This experience soured me on the medical profession.” Here he interprets experiences described in the last paragraph to explain his late interest in medicine. Paragraph 9 Transition sentence: “I pursued psychology and the humanities, while growing more fascinated by health, nutrition, and what people I knew had found in 'alterna tive' approaches to health, including preventive and Eastern medicine.” The writer talks about his subsequent interest in fields peripheral to medicine. Paragraph 10 Transition sentence: “Upon transferring to USC, I found that my view of the med ical establishment wasn’t really accurate—there ARE those who care more about helping people than about the money or their intellectual pride." He describes how his interest in medicine solidified while at USC. Paragraph 11 (Conclusion) Transition sentence: Throughout my college career, I have had to support myself financially." The writer uses the transition to discuss the many jobs he has held throughout the various stages in his life. Incorporating the Narrative Beginning your essay with a story is a common and effective method for catch ing and keeping the reader’s interest This is also a good way to structure your essay if you want to focus on a single event in your life. In its purest form a nar rative essay does nothing but tell the story. It begins and ends with the action. This is not recommended for a personal statement, simply because at some point the connection needs to be drawn from the story to your motivation and qualifi cations for attending medical school. The following are some examples of excerpts where writers have incorporated narrative into their essays. Notice how each writer provides a clear transition to the rest of the essay: 4 9 FSSAYS THAT WILL tifT YOU INTO M EDIC A L i r . H n m ________________________ __________ __ Essay 7: The writer paints a picture of herself as a child climbing into her lather's dentist chair for treatment She uses the story to transition into her desire to start a practice in pediatric dental care. Essay 19: The writer begins with a story of working as a deckhand for the Sea Education Association (SEA). He uses the story to demonstrate teamwork skills and the importance of community. He transitions from the story with: "Both at sea and on land, I have found great pleasure in the rewards of upholding and enriching the worlds of which 1 am a part’ Essay 18: This writer tells the story of her high school teacher’s battle with AIDS. Transitions with: “1 entered college, believing that biology could explain to me why life's processes went awry." > Essay 32: This writer tells the story of unraveling the past of a prehistoric woman by analyzing her bones and transitions in the last paragraph with: T o a large extent my choice to become a physician is rooted in my desire to continue to work with the human body. But I want to work with the living." Essay 36: He incorporates the story of his attempt to save a life aboard a train in Italy into the middle of his essay rather than at the beginning. He uses it to iDustntr the lessons he learned of self-forgetful devotion and the importance of attention to detad. Notice the variety of circumstances to which this type of essay can be applied when comparing these essays. A narrative can span a lifetime or a momenL It does not have to be filled with Hollywood-style action to hold interest The briefest and simplest of events can take on meaning when told effectively. What makes all of these essays effective is their use of detail, description, and direction. Paragraphs Paragraphs are the pillars of the essay; they uphold and support the structure. Each one that you write should express a single thought and contain a dearly defined beginning, middle, and end. Look at Essay 38 for an example of what is meant by writing solid paragraphs. The essay is made up of six paragraphs. Notice that each one contains a single thought phrase, or image introduced by a topic sentence and supported by con crete evidence or imagery. Paragraph 1 Introduction. Begins: “Why on Earth do you want to study in Africa?" This writer introduces the essay by describing her experience studying for three months in Kenya. Paragraph 2 First point. Begins: “A career in medicine appears to be a lot like studying in Kenya. The writer supports the point by comparing a description of her work in Kenya with a medicine career. Paragraph 3 Second point. Begins: “My first encounter with medical science was as a Women in Science Project Intern in the Norris Cotton Cancer Center of the Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center." She describes her experience there, what she learned, and why it motivated her. 50 CHAPTER t At Last, Write! Paragraph 4 Third point. Begins: “In addition to my enthusiasm for science, I have a deep rooted interest in art history.” Briefly discusses her art hobby and why it will pro vide balance to her primary interest of medicine. Paragraph 5 Fourth point. Begins: "However, both my research experiences and my study of art have left me devoid of the satisfaction of helping people that I felt throughout high school and college, working directly with several community service organiza tions.” The essayist provides backup and evidence by describing numerous vol unteer and tutoring experiences. She ties this experience back to her motivation to be a doctor. Paragraph 6 Conclusion. Transistions with: “A career as a physician would unite my excitement for learning and my desire for helping others into a distinct whole." The writer closes with a reiteration of her desire to attend and her qualifications for medical school. Transitions As you can see from all the examples used so far in this chapter, the first sen tences of every paragraph are extremely important. They uphold the structure of your essay and help create strong, targeted paragraphs, and also serve as transi tions linking your points together. An essay without good transitions is like a series of isolated islands: The reader will struggle to get from one point to the next Use transitions as bridges between your ideas. The transition into the final paragraph is especially critical. If it is not clear how you arrived at this final idea, you have either shoehorned a conclusion into the outline, or your outline lacks focus. You should not have to think too much about consciously constructing transitional sentences. If the concepts in your outline fol low and build on one another naturally, transitions will practically write themselves. To make sure that you are not forcing them, try to refrain from using words such as: however, nevertheless, and furthermore. If you are having trouble transitioning between paragraphs, or are trying to force a transition onto a paragraph that has already been written, it may be indica tive of a problem with your structure. If you suspect this to be the case, go back to your original outline and make sure that you have assigned only one point to each paragraph, and that each point naturally follows the preceding one and leads to a logical conclusion. This may result in a kind of back-to-the-drawing-board restructuring, but try not to get frustrated. This happens to even the most sea soned writers and is a normal part of the writing process. Word Choice Well-structured outlines, paragraphs, and transitions are all an important part of a creating a solid essay. But structure isn’t everything. An essay can be very si LSlS A JLS t h a t w il l GET y d n I N T O M E D l f . A I S C H O O L well organized with balanced paragraphs and smooth transitions and stifl come across as dull and uninspired. You know from Chapter 1 that details are integral to interesting essays. While adding detail is certainly a good start, there is more to know about the kind of writing that holds a reader’s attention. First, there is word choice. Rule 1: Put your thesaurus away It won’t make you look smarter, it will only make you look like you are trying to look smarter. Rule 2: Focus on verbs Keep adjectives to a minimum. Pumping your sentences full of adjectives and adverbs is not the same as adding detail or color. Adjectives and adverbs add description, but verbs add action—and action is always more interesting than description. One of the admissions officers on our panel advises using the following test to gauge the strength of your word choice: The Verb Test Choose a paragraph from your essay and make a list of every verb you have used. Compare your list to one of the following: COLUMN 1 COLUMN 2 said has met contorted can say complain know learned are usually spreading may have heard sprang are strained is gripped strive had been living may not be involved had attended try to perform If you had to choose an essay based solely on the verb list, which one would you rather read? Which list does yours more closely resemble? Sentence Length and Structure Another way to analyze the strength of your writing is to examine the pacing of your sentences. This is a good time to read your essay out loud. As you read, lis ten to the rhythm of the sentences. Are they all the same length? If each of your 52 C H A P T E R 4: At Last, Write! sentences twists and turns for an entire paragraph, try breaking them up for vari ety. Remember that short sentences have great impact. One way to determine whether you are using a variety of different sentence lengths is to put S, M, or L (for short, medium, and long) above each sentence in a paragraph. A dull paragraph can look something like this: MMMLMSSSML On the other hand, an interesting paragraph may look more like this: SLMMLS Beginnings and Endings Beginnings and endings can be the most challenging part of crafting any piece of writing—and also, in many ways, the most important. Part of the reason they are so difficult is that writers tend to worry about them too much. There is so much hype about the necessity of thoroughly introducing the subject and ending with sharply drawn conclusions that anxious essayists compensate by going over board. They feel that in order to appear mature and worldly their essays must con tain profound insights and sweeping observations. Do not fall into this trap! One of the biggest complaints that our admissions offi cers had were that essayists tried to say and do too much in their introductions. "Just tell the story!” wrote one officer repeatedly in response to numerous essays. What? No Introduction? Do yourself a favor and forget about beginnings and endings during the first stages of writing. Just dive straight into the body of the text without bothering to introduce your themes or set the scene. The reason this technique works is that when you have finished writing the rest of your rough draft, you may discover that you don’t need an introduction at all. Isn’t that risky? Maybe. But believe it or not, more essays have been ruined by forced and unnecessary introductions than have been ruined by the lack of one, usually because of the misconception of what an introduction is supposed to accomplish. This is especially true if you are basing your essay around a story. It might feel risky or uncomfortable just letting the story stand on its own without being intro duced first, but beginning with action is always a good idea as long as the action is tied closely into the points you are trying to make throughout the rest of the essay. Leading the Way The most important part of any beginning is, of course, the lead. Leads play the 53 C H A Y S t h a t w i n fit! YOU INTO M E D IC A L S C H O O L dual role of setting the theme of your essay and engaging the reader. The intro duction should not be overly formal. You do not want an admissions officer to atart reading your essay and think. H ere we go again.” Although admissions officers will try to give the entire essay a fair reading, they are only human; if you lose them after the first sentence, the rest of your essay will not get the attention it deserves. Just as you should not worry about your introduction until you have gotten an initial draft on paper, you should not begin by writing your lead. Often, you wiD spot a good one floating around in the middle of your first draft of the essay, so don’t worry about it until you have the bulk of your essay on paper. There are many different kinds of effective leads. You will find examples of some of them listed below. Standard Lead Standard leads are the most common leads used. A typical standard lead answers one or more of the sue basic questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how. They give the reader an idea of what to expect A summary lead is a kind of stan dard lead that answers most of these questions in one sentence. The problem with this kind of lead is that, although it is a logical beginning, it can be dulL The advan tage is that it sets your reader up for a focused and well-structured essay. If you live up to that expectation, the impact of your points is heightened. They are also useful for shorter essays when you need to get to the point quickly. Initially, my interest in medicine was due to my family. (Essay 26) I am interested in participating in the Harvard M IT Division of Health Sci ences and Technology Program (HST) in the context of an M.D./Pk.D. to pre pare for a career in medical research. (Essay 27) My work experiences—ranging from public health projects in rural Latin America to work at urban battered women’s shelters to peer counseling on a col lege campus—reflect my concern for people’s "health’ in a broad sense of the word. (Essay 20) Creative Lead This lead attempts to add interest by being obtuse or funny. It can leave you wondering what the essay will be about, or make you smile: The melody starts low, a quiet whirring sound of violins slowly envelops the hall. (Essay 34) The beating of an African healing drum resonates throughout all comen of the Catholic church during the weekly five o’clock student mass. (Essay 8) When I consider my life experiences, I imagine them as a system of bones and joints, interconnected, cooperative, and form-giving. (Essay 30) 54 c h a p t e r 4: At Last, Write! Action Lead This lead takes the reader into the middle of a piece of action. It is perfect for short essays where space needs to be conserved or for narrative essays that begin with a story. The car swerved to the left. (Essay 29) She dropped the box on the table and left the room because she didn’t want to watch. (Essay 37) It was opening night. I was about to walk on stage as Ruth in “The Pirates of Penzance.’ (Essay 9) As the rusted-out Land Rover made its way cautiously through dense thicket and crevices in the rocky dirt road, those of us sitting on top were able to peer through the trees at a sublime West African landscape. (Essay 13) One day in the summer after my graduation from high school, my grandfa ther took me up to the attic of his house to show me something he thought would be significant for me. (Essay 24) Personal or Revealing Lead This lead reveals something about the writer. It is always in the first person and usually takes an informal, conversational tone: I was not in control of my life and I was miserable. (Essay 4) Since my childhood, my father's inspirational recounts as a cardiologist have captured my heart and my interest. (Essay 14) I decided that I wanted to be a doctor some time after my four month incar ceration in Columbia Presbyterian Children’s Hospital in the winter of 1986- 87, as I struggled with anorexia nervosa. (Essay 35) Quotation Lead This type of lead can be a direct quotation or a paraphrase. It is most effective when the quote you choose is unusual, funny, or obscure, and not too long. Choose a quote with a meaning you plan to reveal to the reader as the essay progresses. Some admissions officers caution against using this kind of lead because it can seem like you are trying to impress them or sound sm art Do not use a proverb or cliche, and do not interpret the quote in your essay. The admissions committee is more interested in how you respond to it and what that response says about you: Dr. Lewis Thomas described medicine as "The Youngest Science’ because insightful discoveries in basic research have led to revolutionary innovations in clinical therapy that have improved the quality of life. (Essay 6) *One day you will read in the National Geographic of a faraway land with no smelly bad traffic. In those green-pastured mountains of Fotta-fa-Zee everybody feels fine at a hundred and three 'cause the air that they breathe is potassium-free 55 FSSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO M E D IC A L SC H O O L ----------------------------------------------------- and because they chew nuts firm the Tutt-a-Tktt Tree. This gives strength to their teeth, it gives length to their hair, and they live without doctors, with nary a cart. ' -Dr. Seuss, You’re Only Old Once (Essay 12) I love the way he makes me laugh. (Essay 5) Dialogue Lead This lead takes the reader into a conversation. It can take the form of an actual dialogue between two people or can simply be a snippet of personal thought: ‘Power ten, next stroke!’shouts the coxswain over the speaker system. (Essay 40) ‘Dawn, do you believe in las brujas?" (Essay 21) ‘Peter, the woman we’re about to meet will receive her first palliative treat ment today. ’ (Essay 22) 'Why on Earth do you want to study in Africa?’’ (Essay 38) Informative Lead This lead gives the reader a fact or a statistic that is connected to the topic of your essay or simply provides a piece of information about yourself or a situation: Every doctor remembers his first patient. (Essay 25) In communist Hungary in 1986 ownership of property meant certain things. (Essay 33) On the comer of 168th Street and Broadway in New York City there always seems to be a line of people. (Essay 39) Closing Your Case The final sentence or two of your essay is also critical. It must finish your thought or assertion, and it is an important part of creating a positive and memorable image. Endings are the last experience an admissions officer has with your essay, so you need to make those words and thoughts count A standard close merely summarizes the main points you have made. Some examples of standard closes include: But most of all, I know that for me to bring meaning to the years of instruc tion my professors and textbooks have given me, I must give back to the com munity I have chosen to do that by becoming a dentist. (Essay 3) i4s a lifelong commitment to society, the medical profession most completely encompasses my career goals and moral values. (Essay 6) 56 c h a p t e r 4 At Last, Write! In the future, I see myself as the pedodontist whose office will be filled with excited children who climb into my chair feeling as comfortable as I always did in my father’s. (Essay 7) Reminiscing about how M. pulled the browned marshmallow from his chop stick, la m thankful to my campers and students, their families, and my friends for helping me to affirm that this is the path I wish my life to follow. (Essay 10) If you have introduced a clever or unusual thought in the first paragraph, try referring back to it in your conclusion. The aim is for the admissions officer to leave your essay thinking, "That was a satisfying read,” and “I wish there were more." Essay 29, for example, closes with: The once bewildered seven-year-old at the scene of an accident now has the skills and maturity to do more than change diapers; she aspires to read the film of the broken humerus or to set the cast some day soon. This writer’s reference to the bewildered seven-year-old relates back to her opening story about a car accident from her youth. This stylistic touch nicely wraps up the essay and shows that time was spent in planning and structuring. Take a Break You have made it through the first draft, and you deserve a reward for the hard work—take a break. Let it sit for a couple of days. You need to distance yourself from the piece so you can gain objectivity. Writing can be an emotional and exhaust ing process, particularly when you write about yourself and your experiences. After you finish your first draft, you may think a bit too highly of your efforts, or you may be too harsh. Both extremes are probably inaccurate. Once you have let your work sit for awhile, you will be better able to take the next (and final!) step presented in Chapter 5: Make It Perfect CHAPTER 5 Make It Perfect Writing is not a one-time act Writing is a process, and memorable writ ing comes more from rewriting than it does from the first draft By rewriting, you will improve your essay—guaranteed. There is no per fect number of drafts that will insure a great essay, but you will eventually reach a point wheo your confidence in the strength of your writing is reinforced by the thoughts of others. If you skimp on the rewriting process, you significantly reduce the chances that your essay will be as good as it can be. Don’t lake that chance. The following steps show you how to take your essay from rough to remarkable. Revise Once you have taken a break away from your essay, come back and read it with a fresh perspective. Analyze it as objectively as possible based on the following three components: substance, structure, and interest Do not worry yet about surface errors and spelling mistakes; focus instead on the larger issues. Be prepared to find some significant problems with your essays and be willing to address them even though it might mean significantly more work. Also, if you find yourself unable to smooth out the problems that turn up, you should be willing to consider starting one or two of your essays from scratch, potentially with a new topic. Substance Substance refers to the content of your essay and the message you are send ing out It can be very hard to gauge in your^>wn writing. One good way to make sure that you are saying what you think you are saying is to write down, briefly and in your own words, the message you are trying to communicate. Then remove the introduction and conclusion from your essay and have an objective reader review what is left and do the same. Compare the two statements to see how 58 C H A P T E R 5: M a k e it r e n e c i similar they are. This can be especially helpful if you wrote a narrative, to make sure that your points are being communicated in the story. Here are some more questions to ask yourself regarding content • Have you answered the question that was asked? •Is each point that you make backed up by an example? •Are your examples concrete and personal? •Have you been specific? Go on a generalities hunt Turn the generalities into specifics. •Is the essay about you? fThe answer should be “Yes!”) •What does it say about you? Try making a list of all the words you have used to describe yourself (directly or indirectly). Does the list accurately represent you? •Does the writing sound like you? Is it personal and informal rather than uptight or stiff? •Read your introduction Is it personal and written in your own voice? If it is general or makes any broad claims, then have someone proofread your essay once without it Did the reader notice that it was missing? If the essay can stand on its own without it then consider removing it permanently. Structure To check the overall structure of your essay, do a first-sentence check. Write down the first sentence of every paragraph in order. Read through them one after another, and ask yourself the following: • Would someone who was reading only these sentences still understand exactly what you are trying to say? • Are all of your main points expressed in the first sentences? • Do the thoughts flow naturally, or do they seem to skip around or come out of left field? Now go back to your essay as a whole and ask yourself: • Does each paragraph stick to the thought that was introduced in the first sentence? • Is each point supported by a piece of evidence? How well does the evi dence support the point? • Is each paragraph of roughly the same length? When you step back and squint at your essay, do the paragraphs look balanced on the page? If one is significantly longer than the rest you are probably trying to squeeze more than one thought into it 59 F the Internet P A R T T H R EE The Interview After the first stage of evaluation, once the admissions committee has read the essays and tabulated the numbers, an applicant may be invited to interview. At most schools this is a necessary prerequisite to your acceptance. The percentage of applicants interviewed varies from school to school, and can fall anywhere from 15 percent to 50 percent Perhaps more significant is the percentage of inter viewees that are accepted. This also varies from school to school, but averages around 3 to 5 percent; however, at this stage, we don’t need to convince you that this is a competitive process. With this level of competition, the committee has no choice but to look beyond the test scores and other numbers to an applicant’s “soft” skills. This is why the interview and the personal statement are both so crucial in the medical admis sions process. This chapter will help you prepare for your interview, and answer some key questions about the process: What makes the medical school interview different from a college interview? What are the different kinds of interviews and interview tactics commonly employed by medical admissions teams? What is the best way to prepare? 63 CHAPTER 6 Preparing for the Interview The medical school interview is a little different from the college-level inter view or a typical job interview. For example, it is more competitive in that acceptance-to-interview ratios are probably lower than other interviews you have had. Also, you could face multiple interviews in one day and possibly multiple interviewers in one session. Finally, the interviewers are M.D.s, Ph.D.s, and medical students. They are experts on medicine, but not always experts at interviewing. The implications of this can be harrowing, but there are strategies you can learn to make it easier. If you prepare yourself well, you can enter the interview process confidently, and that alone is half the battle. 'types of Interviews The type of interview you will encounter will be different at every medical school. Pick and choose from any of the following variables: MORE COMMON LESS COMMON You are interviewed by one person. You are interviewed by a committee. You are interviewed once. You are interviewed several times. You are interviewed by a faculty member or student. The interviewer is familiar with your file and background and has prepared specific questions for you. The interviewer is relaxed and conversational. You are interviewed by a member of the admissions staff or a community doctor. The interviewer comes to the interview completely unfamiliar with your back ground or qualifications. The interviewer is formal and structured and grills you on your knowledge and qualifications. 65 ESSAYS THAT MtlLL G f T Y O U I N T O M E D I C A L S C H O O L ---------------------- ----------- To eliminate some of the guesswork before you arrive at the interview, some admissions officers say that it is OK to call ahead and ask for the names of your interviewers and whether they are faculty, students, or whatever. You can take this a step further by researching the interviewers personally (for instance, what have they published, what courses do they teach, are they M.D.s or Ph.D.s, and so on). Other admissions officers advised against taking this step, and cautioned that schools will often withhold this information to avoid calls to the interviewer and because emergencies can cause the interviewers to change at the last minute. Tips Tip 1: Be Prepared There is a commonly held misconception that there is no real way to prepare for an interview. This is absolutely untrue. No matter what type of interview you have, whether it is inquisitive or conversational, being prepared is the secret to success. You must be prepared to talk intelligently about the two most important pieces in the application puzzle—yourself and the school. 1. Look at your entire application objectively. What impressions or pre conceptions would you have about the person described? Do you see any areas of potential weakness? Are there any red flags that need explaining? Make a list of the kinds of questions that you would ask someone with your background, then practice answering them out loud. 2. Reread your essay. A lot of interviewers focus on the essay or use it as the icebreaker. Look at it objectively and try to imagine what more you would want to know about the writer. Be ready to discuss in depth any thing you’ve written about or even mentioned in the personal statement If your interview and your personal statement don’t back each other up, you will come across as insincere, or worse, dishonest 3. Develop three key points that you want to comm unicate to the interviewer. Practice making these points into a tape recorder. Think of ways to incorporate your points into answers to open-ended questions, and don’t leave the interview without feeling confident that you have com municated all three. 4. Practice answering common interview questions. You will find a list of these questions in the next chapter. Develop thorough and precise answers for each question type, and think about the different experiences you could talk about to demonstrate each point you would like to make. 66 C H A P T E R 6: Preparing fo rth * Interview 5. Prepare ■ list of questions you want to ask the interviewern. Have enough questions that you aren’t forced to ask the same question;) of dif ferent interviewers in case they compare notes. You shouldn’t ask ques tions just because you have to, or because you know it’s expected, and don’t go overboard by asking too many. Take the time to think of the ques tions that shed further light on what is important to you. Pick and choose from the next chapter the questions that are most relevant to you. 6 . Prepare to answer, as well as ask, questions about the school. Refer back to the research you did earlier for your essay. What were the features that drew you to the school? Select key points and criteria, and then prepare your questions. Demonstrate your knowledge of the school and the level of your commitment to it with the depth of your knowledge. 7. Prepare to talk about the medical profession. Read the Journal of the American Medical Association. Discuss issues with other premeds. Research HMOs, PPOs, and third-party providers and understand how they fit into the picture. Keep your eyes open for the current medical ethics issues such as genetic engineering, euthanasia, cloning. You don’t have to have a specific stance on these issues, but do show that you have given them softie thought Tip 2: Relax If you’ve done all the above preparation, than there is only one thing left for you to do to ensure a successful interview: relax! You should look at it as an opportu nity to exchange opinions, information, and views. Interviewers are people. They all endured the same process, and they understand how you feel. Also, don’t for get that you are evaluating them too. You are both on the stage together, and some of the control belongs to you. Still nervous? Review your notes again. Practice some more. Take deep breaths. Take your time before answering each question. Intentionally speak at a slower pace and lower tone than you would ordinarily (we speak faster and our pitch rises when we're nervous). Imagine that you are talking to a friend. In short do what ever you can do to keep your nerves at a manageable pitch. A little anxiety is fine; it is natural and can help make you seem animated in the interview. Tip 3: Be Yourself As with your essay, don’t try to be something you are not in the interview—it will show. Be honest sincere, and truthful. Don’t say you’ve done things you haven’t done, read books you haven’t read, or are interested things you aren’t interested in. And whatever you do, don’t lie about your grades or test scores. Show them who you are with specific examples from your life. 67 £ j S A I i THAT Will APT YOU INTO MEIUCAl STMQQL Give them your heartfelt opinion, even when they ask you the difficult ques tions about medical issues or health care reform plans. They’re not looking for your opinion so much as how you present it Have you put 9ome thought into your answer? Are you up on current medical issues? Is your thinking logical and well reasoned? Are you ethically motivated? Admission^ officers consider an interview successful when they walk away feeling that they’ve met the real you; it doesn't matter if the two of you disagree on a current medical issue. The Failproof Fallback Plan No matter how thoroughly you’ve prepared, someone will always find a way to throw you a curveball. At some point you will likely be faced with a question you were not expecting, one that doesn’t fit any of your prepared points. What then? Don’t panic. Ironically, not being able to answer a question is often a result of being overprepared rather than unprepared. Although not common, there are the all-too-true horror stories about the interviewee who is completely unable to answer a freebie like “What courses did you take last semester?" The reason? He was so prepared to perform on a certain level mentally, that when he was asked a straightforward question that had a simple, fact-based answer, his mind sputtered and stalled. Regardless of the reason, there is a solution to the “in-flight" panic response. As simple as it sounds, the secret is honesty. Honesty can extract you gracefully from the toughest of situations. When you are stumped for any reason, do the following; Take a deep breath (this does not have to be dramatic), repeat the question to yourself, and respond with the simple truth. That means admitting when you don’t know an answer and admitting when you were wrong. We are not saying that you won’t stutter, or blush, or say “urn...” more than once. But if you are sincerely dedicated to becoming a doctor, your sincerity and dedication will be obvious to the point that even the most awkward answer will not undermine the overall impression you make. 68 C H A P T ER 7 Interview Questions inety percent of unsuccessful interviews are a result of one of two com mon mistakes made by interviewees. One is being underprepared to X ^ answer a specific question; the other is being overprepared. Under preparation results from the misconception that because it is not possible to pre dict with accuracy the specific questions that will be asked, it is impossible and/or inefficient to practice answers. The telltale signs of this mistake are meandering, disorganized replies to open-ended questions, contradictions, and redundancies. The second pitfall, that of overpreparedness, results when good intention is combined with poor strategy. People who make this mistake are easily stumped by unusual questions and may give stilted and overrehearsed answers to more common questions. They might appear to be stiff and nervous, and can even come across as bad listeners, since their answers (though well organized and pointed) do not consistently address the question that was asked. Also, their ability to adapt easily to different interviewers and interview styles is inhibited, making it diffi cult for them to establish rapport This chapter will present a method of preparation that will help you avoid both these pitfalls. The method stresses both preparedness and flexibility. It takes into account the fact that you can neither predict specific questions nor rely on indi vidually prepared answers. What we will help you do is prepare generally for the specific. This method of preparation takes advantage of the fact that each of the thousands of possible ques tions that might be asked is derived from one of a handful of basic categories. We will introduce these general categories and list examples of the specific questions 69 m A Y < ; THAT WILL r.FT y q u IN TO MFnir.Ai t r w n n i that comprise each. Then we suggest strategies for responding to each type of question. Your job is this: For each category introduced, arm yourself with at least three points you would like to communicate about yourself and think of one or two spe cific details to support each. This will allow you to create a targeted, comprehen sive set of answers to most of the questions you will be asked. With practice, you will be able to actively use the interviewer’s questions (whatever they may be) to communicate the points you wish to make. This puts the control back into your hands, which should also help ease preinterview jitters. The Questions Interviewers Will Ask Yon Interviewers are constantly coming up with new and creative questions to ask but no matter how different the question appears to be, it almost always falls into one of five categories. These categories represent the basics of what the inter viewer wants to know about you. If you prepare yourself to speak succinctly in each area, and learn to recognize each question for what it is, you are less likely to be caught off guard by a quirky or unusual query. The categories appear below with examples of some specific questions for each. Open-Ended Q uestions • Who are you? • Why medical school? • How would a friend describe you? • Why do you want to be a doctor? • How are you unique? • List three things you want me to know about you. • What are your strengths and weaknesses? • Why should we accept you? • Tell me about yourself. Open-ended questions are the easiest There is absolutely no excuse for not tak ing full advantage of these. First, they are obvious; they are exactly what you should have asked yourself when you first decided to go to medical schooL Also, they offer you the chance to openly sell yourselt This is where you should communi cate the top three points you would like to make. Preparing specific, focused answers for each of the above questions will also go a long way toward helping you to answer all of the sample questions that follow, no matter what category they are from. 70 C H A P T E R 7: Interview Questions Q uestions about Your Motivation/Sincerity • What other careers have you explored? • Do you feel that you have a realistic view of medical school? • Do you understand what the life of a doctor entails? • What will you do ii you don’t get into medical school? • Why do you want to attend this school? • Why do you want to work with sick people? • Is this school your top choice? • Where else have you applied? • Would you consider a foreign medical school? • Where do you see yourself in 10/20/30 years? • What do you want to specialize in? • What do you hope to get out of medicine? • Do you have any concerns about this school? • Do you have any ideas about your residency? • Have you considered the advantages/disadvantages of living in this area? These questions probe exactly how much you want to practice medicine. The committee wants to understand the thought you have put into your decision. If you have indicated elsewhere in your application that you come from a family of ph, sicians, then they want reassurance that you’re not under family pressure. They also need to know that you understand the difficult journey of studying and practicing medicine, and that your knowledge of a doctor’s life is not limited to what you have seen on television. Lastly, they want to know that you are sincere in wanting their specific program. If another school is your top choice, be honest But also be prepared with the reasons that you applied to their school—and it should be more compelling than saying they were your “backup." One tip here is to review the reasons for your motivation that you gave in your essay. The inter viewer will probably have read it recently and if your answers don’t correspond, it will make the interviewer doubt one or the other—and you. When answering any one of these questions, start and end with a reiteration of your desire to 1) become a doctor, and 2) attend their school. Emphasize too that you know what your decision entails. Your points should explain why your unique experience makes medical school the right choice. For example: Are you more interested in the science/research side of medicine, or in helping people? If it’s the first you should have a strong research and science background. If it’s the latter, 71 ESSA YS THAT WILL GET YOU IN TO M E D IC A L SC H O O L back it up with volunteer experience or other kinds of community imrohement Most will stress both sides, which is fine, as long as you can provide solid evidence. Q uestions a b o u t Your Q ualifications an d E xperience • What work experience have you had? • What healthcare experience have you had? • Tell me about your research experience. • How have you prepared yourself for a career in medicine? • What clinical/hospital experience have you had? • What work experience do you wish you had? • How have you contributed to your community? • Tell me about a time you have helped someone. • What volunteer experience have you had? • What’s your toughest subject? This is pretty straightforward, and easy to prepare for. Just be ready to talk about any experience that you have mentioned in your application. If you feel that you are weak in clinical experience or research, then: 1) say so with regret and explain if there is a good reason, and 2) talk about indirect experience instead (such as the time you set your sister’s wrist on a hiking trip or the hours spent tutoring English to adult immigrants). Emphasize your motivation through your experience. Q uestions a b o u t Your K now ledge of th e M edical Field • What do you see as the biggest challenge facing the field of medicine today? • Demonstrate your understanding of HMOs, PPOs, and third-party providers. • Are you aware of the upcoming surplus of doctors? How do you feel about it? • How do you feel about the debate over the hours residents are forced to work? • How would you advise patients who are interested in visiting an acupunc turist or chiropractor? • What do you think about medical advice being available on the Web? • Express your opinions on: - genetic engineering - the future of technology in medicine 7 2 c h a p t e r 7: Interview Questions • government health-care issues - the high cost of health care - doctors’ salaries - hospice care - alternative medicine - the role of spirituality in healing This category is often the most daunting for applicants. You might feel that you are being given an oral exam, and on one level you are. The admissions commit tee wants to see that you are familiar with current events. This is another way to test your sincerity and dedication, and it shows an intellectual curiosity and abil ity. It is important that the interviewer knows you want to help people, but medi cine is as much science as healing and both facets need to be explored. Q u estio n s a b o u t Your P ersonality an d B ackground • Tell me about a significant event in your life and how it shaped you. • Do you have a favorite book/class/professor? • Who do you not get along with and why? • Which of your qualities would you want to pass down to your children? • What about yourself would you change if you could? • What three material objects are most important to you? • What people have influenced you and how? • Do you have any heroes? • How do you handle stress? • Give me an example of a time you contributed to a group effort • Tell me about a cross-cultural experience you have had. • What do you do in your free time? • What are your hobbies? • What is youi number one accomplishment? In some ways these will be easy questions for you. You have had practice with them; they have probably been asked in just about every interview experience you have ever had. These questions about yourself are on more of a superficial level (the more personal questions are discussed below). But talking about yourself— even in response to the lighter questions—can be nerve-wracking when you are being judged on your responses. As always, the answer is to prepare, be yourself, and relax. 73 ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO M E D IC A L S C H O Q ---------------------------------------------------- Q uestions about Your Ethics/Character • Would you work in an AIDS clinic? • Would you prescribe birth control pills to a minor without parental consent? • Have you ever cheated or helped a friend cheat? • How will you deal with know-it-all patients? • Give your opinions on: - genetic engineering - abortion - euthanasia - providing clean needles to ad'"cts - supplying condoms to schools - animal research These questions are a subset of questions about the medical field as weO as questions about your personality, and subsequently among the toughest to answer. If you are ready for them, though, you will be able to breeze through where oth ers stumble. There are two things that should be of comfort to you: 1) There is a fairly limited number of these “hot” issues so you can be completely ready for most of them, and 2) interviewers won’t judge you based on your opinion, even if they disagree, but rather on the thoughtfulness with which you have answered. For this category in particular, preparation is everything. Personal/Illegal Q uestions • Has anyone close to you been seriously ill or died? • Have you ever been ill or injured? • What is your relationship with your family like? • What is more important to you than anything else? • Are you married/do you have children? • Do you plan to have children in the future? • How will you juggle a medical career with a family? • How important is family to you? • How do you plan to pay for medical school? This category is different from the rest The common thread through these questions is the reluctance of interviewees to answer them, either because they are personal, inappropriate, irrelevant, or illegal. Your first reaction to one of these questions might be embarrassment, discomfort, or annoyance. You might be cocd 74 CHAPTER 7: Interview Questions pelled to refuse an answer, or point out the inappropriateness of the question based on your gender/race, and so on. Our advice is to accept the situation gracefully and answer the question briefly and as straightforwardly as possible. Take into account that the interviewer might be inexperienced, or even testing your ability to tactfully deal with an uncomfortable situation. Rough Spots There seem to be more horror stories circulating around the medical school interview than around any other type of interview. The stories end with the interviewees breaking down and crying on the interviewer’s shoulder, or freez ing up and failing to answer even the simplest of questions. Their propagation is partially due to the fact that medical school is one of the only graduate level schools that in most cases, requires an interview. At this level of academic rigor, the interview seems even more difficult because most have only the under graduate interview for comparison, where the interviewers are often more focused on recruiting you than evaluating you. Although it is true that medical school interviews are naturally more harrowing than undergraduate interviews, most of the stories you hear are probably exaggerations. Real disasters rarely happen. Still, there is a lesson to be learned from them: You must prepare your self to ride gracefully through potential rough spots. Rough spots can occur when interviewers have little or no experience. They might not know how to prompt you with questions or keep the conversation flowing, and uncomfortable silences might ensue. Or they might be nervous themselves and end up doing most of the talking themselves. Conversely, you might get an interviewer with too much experience. Perhaps the interviewer has an attitude or seems to want to quiz you on esoteric sub jects or prod you for your opinions on touchy medical issues. The interviewer might even ask inappropriate questions about your personal life to see how you respond. A woman, for example, might be asked how she plans to fit her busy schedule into married life, or whether (and how soon) she plans to have children. Fortunately, these types are rare and you need only remember to remain calm. A level head will help you gracefully admit to not knowing an answer. A sense of humor will help you to keep from getting upset A relaxed attitude will help keep the conversation going when the interviewer fails to do his or her part In all of these cases, staying focused and relaxed will help you keep your perspective. As long as you don’t run screaming from the interviewer’s office, it’s probably not as bad as you think. 75 F S S A Y S T H A T W i l l C. F T Y O U I Kl T n M E D I C A L S C H O O I The Questions You Gan Ask Interviewers One question you can count on being asked in every interview is: "Do you have any questions?" There is a correct answer to this question. It is unequivocally "Yea!" Your questions should be as well planned and as revealing as an answer to any other question they have asked. Use your questions to show that you have done your research. Because the questions should be specific to you, we advise that you come up with your own personal questions and don’t rely on the suggestions that we provide below. Just keep two points in mind and any question wfll do: 1. Don't ask anything that can be easily researched. 2. Don’t ask objective questions twice of different interviewers at the same school as they may compare notes later. Q uestions for the Faculty Interviewer • How much of the curriculum will be lecture time and how much will be small group sessions? • Where and what are typical alumni doing now? • Do alumni tend to stay in the area after graduation? • What are the school’s weaknesses? • What are the school’s strengths? • When do students have their first contact with patients? Q uestions for the Student Interviewer • How would you rate the faculty here? • In your opinion, do the students like it here? • What sort of clinical/research opportunities are available? • What is a typical day like for a first-year student? • What makes your school unique? • What do you like about this school? • How would you describe the students here? 76 PART FOUR Essays The upcoming chapters contain 40 AMCAS personal statements. The essays are not samples; they are real essays written by candidates who were accepted into the top medical schools in the United States. The school where each candi date was accepted is listed before each essay, along with some tags to help you quickly identify the essays that will be most relevant to you. Students’ comments can be found under some of the essays revealing such facts as the amount of time it took them to write their statement and how much weight they thought the state ment had in their overall application. All mistakes, typos, grammar, and spelling errors found in the original essays have been preserved. Despite these occasional surface errors, the essays were written by some of the most qualified applicants in the world and the quality of them is, on the whole, outstanding. Do not let this intimidate you. Use them as a learning tool and as a source of inspiration. Plagiarizing from these or any essays is illegal. Because IvyEssays works with admissions officers from schools around the country, the committees are famil iar with all the essays presented here and will know if material you are using has been taken from the examples in this book. To help you sort quickly through the statements that are most relevant to you, we suggest you use the index at the back of the book that catalogs each essay according to theme, the writer’s related experience and background, and the schools to which they were accepted. We hope you enjoy them, and wish you the best of luck in your application process. 77 FSSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO M E D IC A I S t H n m ___________________________________ ESSAY 1: Bridging Research and Healing, Literature Background Accepted at: Mayo Medical School When I think of practicing as a doctor, I am most concerned about the intersection of scientific research and society's capacity to apply it both in terms of legislation regarding health care and in terms of my ability as a doctor to comprehend how this research applies to my patient's health. Society's inability to apply research soundly is what I consider to be the biggest conflict facing the medical world and our larger society. For a doctor to be well educated and well informed does not automatically result in the best diagnosis in this day and age. The amount of new scientific information that medical research is producing almost daily becomes absolutely staggering, even for the specialist. And the medical establishment is currently under pressure to emphasize general practice, under the title "primary care." How can we expect this new wave of physicians to consistently give the highest quality of care, especially given the difficulty doctors have in correctly interpreting medical research findings? This difficulty was highlighted in a survey Health magazine recently conducted, which showed that only 25% of the doctors could correctly take raw data, or even a statistical analysis of the data, and turn it into a good diagnosis for their patients. We are currently living in a society still split between the isolated world of scientific research and the much larger world of politicians, legislators, artists, writers, and those who comprise our social services. This split is a particularly dangerous now, given the incredible influence the words "backed by scientific research" confer to advertising, which usually converts into the health trends of our society. Too few people exist whose vocation it is to bridge these two worlds, to bring accurate understanding to the majority of our society, and of these, doctors are the most important. In 1964, the scientist and philosopher C. P. Snow wrote about the split between these two cultures, which he called the scientific and the literary, saying: "It is dangerous to have two cultures which can't or don't communicate. In a time when science is determin ing much of our destiny, that is, whether we live or die, it is dangerous in the most practical terms. Scientists can give bad advice and decision makers can't know whether it is good or bad." His words might have been spoken at a commencement ceremony this very year, so timely are they. How can we solve this conundrum facing the medical estab lishment? C. P. Snow advised an overhaul in the way the Western world educates its children, in which young people would study the sciences as rigorously as they studied the humanities, and in the American liberal arts college system, he saw his idea come to fruition. I am a product of this system, having learned science, as well as liter ature, from the first day in my private school kindergarten class. In fact my dual love of literature and science caused me inner conflict when, in 78 P A R T 4: Essays high school, I was deciding what I wanted to do with my college stud ies, and ultimately with my life. I had then, as I do now, a deep passion for literature; however, as becoming a doctor was my highest priority, I wanted to be well-prepared for medical school. I needed to decide how to balance my fascination with scientific problems with my need for artistic expression. My senior year at Wellesley College exemplified my solution to this problem. During that year, I produced an Honors senior research thesis on William Faulkner that was the culmination of a four-year dream, had two of my fiction short stories published in news magazines at Stanford and the University of California at Los Angeles, performed surgery on rats and designed behavioral tests for rat spatial memory using a Morris Water Maze as part of my neurological research class. My outstanding skill in analyzing literature helped me to understand how to analyze sci entific research, as I sifted through multiple papers to discover what theories were relevant to my current research endeavors. In the same manner, I had to uncover for my thesis a sound basis for challenging some of the purveying theories concerning William Faulkner's writings. I found I was using the same pattern of thinking in what are commonly regarded as disciplines that require widely disparate types of thinking, most commonly expressed as "different kinds of people." After years of being unable to explain why I could excel and enjoy both the sciences and the humanities, I finally realized that they both required similar abil ities. A balance between the scientific and literary worlds of C. P. Snow was not necessarily required for our society's continued health; instead, what was required was a synthesis of the drive to know and to solve and the drive to create and to express. I found that this balance in thinking was equally necessary to scientific or to liberal arts endeavors, and that the balance that is so n» or.sary for our society's physicians to have, and that C. P. Snow so strong!*- advocated, was not between two disciplines —science and liberal arts- but between two types of think ing—analytical and creative. I believe that it is my strength in both of these areas, as shown by my research interests coupled with a degree in the humanities, that makes me so well suited to be a physician. I know that in medicine, I can excel as one of those bridges between the science that is so critical to our health and those who we are devoted to healing. ESSAY 2: Mother's Illness; W est Point Graduate; Clinical Experience in General Surgery Accepted at: University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine; Cornell University Medical College; Harvard Medical School; Tufts University School of Medicine; University of Cincinnati College of Medicine; Georgetown University School of Medicine; Mount Sinai School of Medicine, CUNY 79 E 5 5 A 3 L S t h a t WILL r.FT YOU IN TO M E D ICAL SC H O O L My desire to become a doctor traces back to my childhood m em o ries. Vividly, I remember my mother's tragic experience. I was only six years old when she underwent a tracheostomoy. The days following the surgical procedure were incredibly frustrating. Not only was she con fined to her bed, but she was unable to speak to me as well. I felt so helpless, and all I wanted was for her to be well again. The most prominent memories I have of my mother's experience are seldomly leaving her side and helping her to clean and change her tube. Because of this, everyone felt I was the most concerned about her. My family kept telling me I would be a great doctor some day. That idea stuck with me, and now, through my own volition, I still want to become a physician. I came to West Point knowing that if I wanted to fulfill my dream of becoming a physician, I would have to distinguish myself. People warned me that West Point is probably not the best undergraduate institution for someone with a desire to become a physician, since only 2 percent of the Academy graduates are allowed to attend medical school. Everything I have done here has been geared toward preparing myself for medical school and insuring that I would be one of the 2 percent. I began my undergraduate education by taking organic chemistry as a freshman, again against the advice of many people. I knew I would be successful in this 300-level course, and I was. The summer before my junior year, I spent three weeks at Walter Reed Medical Center in Wash ington, DC to gain clinical experience. At Walter Reed the surgeons treated me as if I was a third-year medical student. I was given unlim ited access to the operating rooms and was encouraged to follow the progress of several patients. Futhermore, when I rotated through gen eral surgery, I was allowed to scrub in and be an integral member of the surgical team on four cases. The program was such an enjoyable and informative experience that I participated in it again the summer before my senior year in lieu of taking vacation. As it has turned out, the people who warned me against West Point as a premedical institution were grossly mistaken. Very few institutions demand the same time and stress management that West Point has forced me to learn. These skills will prove to be invaluable to me not only as a medical student but as a doctor as well. In addition to West Point's prestigious academic program, it is renowned as the greatest leadership institution in the world. This latter aspect of the Academy has further developed my interpersonal and leadership skills, again two skills that will be most useful to me as a student and doctor. The Military Academy develops a certain type of person—a well rounded leader who is capable of accomplishing anything. I took a risk by coming to West Point—the risk of failing to distinguish myself among an elite group of people, thereby postponing my medical 80